This is a rush transcript from "On the Record ," October 3, 2007. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GRETA VAN SUSTEREN, HOST: Beth Holloway joins us live in New York.
Beth, perhaps you can give us a little background on that video. Under what circumstances -- when was that taken?
HOLLOWAY: Oh, I would have to guess -- I haven't seen them in a while, but I would have to say Natalee was probably about -- you know, she looked like she was maybe 8or 9. I'm not sure. That was -- that was our cat, Sally (ph). So yes, I haven't seen that in a while. But she was crazy about Sally and Sally was crazy about her.
VAN SUSTEREN: Until we went back to Aruba -- and I should tell the viewers that it was our idea to back to Aruba, it wasn't your idea. But until we got you to go back to Aruba over the weekend, how long had it been since you'd been there?
HOLLOWAY: The last time I had been on the island was -- I guess it was November, the 1st of November of 2006. So it had been a while since I'd been there.
VAN SUSTEREN: What was it like for you going back?
HOLLOWAY: You know, I was really hoping this time, Greta, when I went back that things would be different. You know, but sadly to say, they really weren't. And I think that, you know, I've been conveying all along, just as I do in the book and telling, you know, what really happened to us, you know, during those -- especially those initial days, I -- it's now different because, you know, I see that you have a video camera and we've documented it. I mean, I was always experiencing this and conveying this, but it just brings it, golly, even so much more real to see it on video. And actually, it's the same frustrations that we dealt with the entire time that we were there.
VAN SUSTEREN: It's sort of interesting, on Gretawire.com, the blog which -- where we've chronicled some of our trip there in pictures and stuff, is that there are just two very distinct camps. There are the lovers and haters. I mean, there's a strong feeling towards you one way or the other. What do you make of that?
HOLLOWAY: Well, I don't know. I think that everyone has had an opinion and -- on the case. But I really think that some of the persons that are expressing, you know, not good intentions towards my actions and what I have been doing are from the island. So -- but I think that's pretty typical. So it -- that doesn't surprise me, Greta.
VAN SUSTEREN: What kind of child was Natalee?
HOLLOWAY: What kind of child was Natalee? You know, I think once readers read my book, Greta, they're going to know who Natalee is. They're going to hear her voice. There are some journals that I discovered that Natalee had kept during her high school years. And when I read her journals, I feel as if I get to know Natalee on a level that's much deeper than what I ever imagined. And I think we all, as parents, we feel we know our children pretty well, and we do for the most part. But you know, my experience when I discovered the journals, I found a young lady with the depth of faith and emotion and love that, you know, I really didn't know as well as I do now, Greta.
VAN SUSTEREN: Well, it's certainly -- you know, the whole world certainly has watched this one. We all thought it was going to be a one or two-day story when she didn't show up for that flight, but it certainly has gone beyond that.
Beth, if you'll stand by?
VAN SUSTEREN: It has been a difficult journey for Beth Holloway, but her search for her daughter does continue. Beth told us how she copes more than two years after Natalee vanished.
VAN SUSTEREN: Do you think that writing a book will make the writer sometimes feel better to send (INAUDIBLE) a message.
HOLLOWAY: There're several messages in my book. And one message that I want to get across is I wanted to tell them one true story, I wanted to tell them what really happened. I want to share with readers (INAUDIBLE)
And thirdly, I want to give parents the benefit of what I have learned.
VAN SUSTEREN: (INAUDIBLE) A lot of people are curious--when something horrible happens to people, (INAUDIBLE) you don't lose your faith.
HOLLOWAY: No, I didn't. And it is easy to have faith when things are going well. The true test is when everything is going wrong.
VAN SUSTEREN: And never any doubts in your faith over this horrible journey?
HOLLOWAY: No, absolutely not. If anything, it deepened.
It is different for each person, and in my case my faith went deeper. I am really grateful about that.
VAN SUSTEREN: It is interesting. There is one portion where you talk about going to church one day when you were here--very personal.
HOLLOWAY: Yes. This was (INAUDIBLE) where there were 11 (INAUDIBLE), and that was very powerful. And things that I experienced during that sermon were never experienced before in my life. And when one of the ministers was delivering the sermon, it was as if he had know Natalee all of her life.
And it was very personal, and I think at that time, at that very moment (INAUDIBLE), and we are all mothers, we're all fathers, we all feel pain and hurt in the same way when it comes to the loss of a loved one.
VAN SUSTEREN: It is only a coincidence, but, over there, that hotel, that is the Holiday Inn. We did not plan when we decided to pull over and talk here. That is the Holiday Inn hotel where Natalee stayed.
Her room was on the first floor in the section facing us?
HOLLOWAY: Right. It was on the bottom floor. It was 7114, I think.
VAN SUSTEREN: We have talked so much, and you have never been emotional. You have been stoic about the whole thing. How do you do that?
I imagine some of these topics pushes your buttons--not deliberately, but here we are overlooking the hotel room where your daughter spent the last night. We're back in Aruba. (INAUDIBLE) We talked about personal things. How are you so stoic.
HOLLOWAY: (INAUDIBLE) To give an explanation of it is the first time you are healing. And I have had a lot of time to move through this process.
There are quiet times when I am alone that things are really difficult, but mainly I Feel the messages is be strong enough to stand on my own, and I want share the painful lessons (INAUDIBLE), and I want to share with other people how you can get through it, how you can get through your crisis.
And now I feel really good about where I am, I feel really good about what I am doing, and I think I have an important message in the book, and I don't want (INAUDIBLE).
VAN SUSTEREN: It's funny, but I hate looking over there.
HOLLOWAY: It is a conscious decision to note everyday not to be bitter. I can't wake up every morning and not make a conscious decision to not be bitter. I want to be positive, I want good things to come of this, Greta.
I can bear the pain of losing Natalee if I can save another life.
VAN SUSTEREN: And Dave, Natalee's father, (INAUDIBLE)
HOLLOWAY: Not really on a personal level. I do not know how Dave is dealing with Natalee's loss. I do not think that that would be something that he and I would communicate with each other about (INAUDIBLE).
I think we worked really well together as a team for Natalee, and I am grateful for that. As far as where he is in the journey, I couldn't tell you.
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