I was at this store the other day when bam -- out of nowhere -- this woman practically tackles me to nab the item I was looking at and snatches it out from under me.
I didn't know what hit me.
This cries for some of my world renowned Cavuto shopping tips for men and women.
Tip one: Don't tackle your fellow shoppers. They don't appreciate it. And even if you do get the item you want, don't be surprised if one of them follows you out the mall, trails you to your car, and then beats the living daylights out of you and steals the gift anyway.
Tip two: If a bin, or shelf is marked "50 percent off," ignore it. There's probably a very good reason why the stuff's discounted to begin with. Pay full price somewhere else. Like I say, you'll pay more, but you'll be alive. Trust me on this one.
Tip three: Don't be nasty. It's the holidays for god's sake, act like it. You don't like being squished like a sardine in a store? I don't like being squished like a sardine in a store. At least you're probably smaller than me and can still move around. You don't see me belly-aching. So shut up and deal with it. Extra points if you smile.
Tip four: If you have screaming kids, give them something to do. A perfectly fine project is sitting them near a sales rack and encouraging them to remove all sales tags from all items. It keeps them busy. And if you're lucky you can go to the cashier and say the tagless item you're buying was most certainly 70 percent off. Try it, you never know.
And finally, tip five: If on a long line, tell the person in front of you, that you really, really have to go to the bathroom and really look like you have to go to the bathroom. Kids saying the same is a bonus, but not a guarantee -- because all kids have to go to the bathroom all the time. Nevertheless, you'll be amazed the people who let you cut in, namely because they fear what happens if they don't.
So there you have it, my final shopping tips for the next two weeks. Go out there, smile, hug your fellow shopper instead of elbowing him, squirm a lot at the register and remember, 'tis the season.
Now go out there and make me proud!
Watch Neil Cavuto's Common Sense weekdays at 4 p.m. ET on Your World w/Cavuto.