So, according to scientists, conservationists have been pumping up the number of extinct species - and that a third of all missing critters are still alive and pooping.
According to one pointy-head, of the 187 mammal species that have been missing since the 1500's, 67 have been "rediscovered," much like my underwear after a night of heavy drinking.
So I guess we should be relieved that these creatures are not really dead - those delightful Christmas Island Shrews, the Vaniforo Flying Foxes and of course, Maury Povich.
But not me.
Nope - to me this represents another false panic sold to the public, under the assumption that the world was in peril, and that we are at fault.
Conservationists have been pushing mass critter extinction and blaming it on mankind for ages - for there's no easier way to make money than creating hysteria, and then asking you for help. I.e. cash.
So it raises the question: If conservationists asked you to pay up to save the "central rock rat" - and now you find out that the rat is fine - do you get your money back? or, at least get one to eat? I hear their tiny limbs are delish!
And besides, since evolution is the only game in town, shouldn't extinction be embraced? I mean, isn't it part of the whole "survival of the fittest" thing? If you can't hack it, you're gone. It's why we haven't seen a dinosaur since the 1700's. But unicorns till flourish magically.
No matter - this is yet another example of environmental exaggeration that ends up undermining a real cause. Whether it's the coming ice age or global warming -all these Chicken Littles just end up looking like asses - which is one mammal we will never run out of.
And if you disagree with me, you're a racist, homophobic hodophobe
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld (weeknights 3-4AM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.