Published September 28, 2010
So the Wachowskis are back -- those two eccentric siblings behind the Matrix movies -- that pile of pablum perfect for Hot Topic teens who mistake piercings for personality.
They've got a new flick coming, called "Cobalt Neural 9" -- a name chosen, of course, to create mystery, confusion, and submissive adoration among pseudo-intellects who still analyze lyrics from, “The Wall.”
Have you seen the Wachowskis lately?
That's Arianna in the middle. Arianna Huffington. But uh those are the brothers. I think one is going through some kind of changes
But apparently, you can’t judge a book by its cover.
Anyway -- the gist of the flick: it's awesomely gay, cinema-verité, predictably anti-Americay, and all about Bushay. George Bush. Or rather, killing George Bush.
According to New York Magazine, the plot involves two radicalized men - an American and Iraqi soldier, who fall in love, have lots of sex, then decide to kill then-president of the United States.
Now I'm sure the fantasy of killing Bush makes everyone in Hollywood feel "edgy." How daring! How revolutionary! It's like carrying around a Noam Chomsky book, without having to read it.
I have no idea who's in the flick, but you can bet actors will line up to audition. After all, what a great opportunity to attain elite renegade status. A movie about killing a man hated by your celeb friends? That's better than voicing a Pixar dog. Plus, it'll get you laid at Coachella.
But really: If these jokers had real guts, they'd make movies about real, present threats in the real world. But that would be too dangerous: for it would cost them something bigger than freedom or money: their hipster cred.
And if you disagree with me, you're a racist, homophobic, Allodoxaphobe. Don’t know what that means.