Last week's Census data reported that there are 50.67 million uninsured Americans. That's statistically a crapload.

But economist Mark J. Perry is pretty good at dissembling such crap. I paraphrase: There were 10.6 million uninsured Americans in households making $75,000 per year or more. And there were about 9.4 million Americans without health insurance making between $50,000 and $75,000. So that's nearly 40 percent of Americans without health insurance living in households last year with $50,000 or more of household income.

So while we've been constantly told that people cannot afford insurance, these numbers say otherwise. Some reject insurance by choice, maybe cuz they're self-insured, or more likely to get their prescriptions at Walmart.

But more to the point: The people I know who don't have health insurance don't care.

Because Obama made a career trotting out tragic anecdotes of folks without insurance, here's mine: Scott, my flight attendant roommate, who may exist, spends his money on travel, booze and drugs — spending 800 bucks a month on beer, inhalants, locksmiths and antibiotics.

Meanwhile, he complains he lacks health insurance. What he doesn't complain about: that he can't afford health insurance. Because he can, he just chooses to spend that cash on stuff that makes him throw up on his mandals.

And so do millions of other brats whining over lack of health care while being able to afford it.

But it doesn't matter now. The fact is, the rest of us are now paying for other people's choices. Like our government attempting to pay for abandoned mortgages with our money, we get nailed, they get bailed.

It's called spreading the wealth, which means tonight I'm stealing Scott's drugs.

And if you disagree with me, you're a racist homophobic, Islamophobic proctophobe.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld (weeknights 3-4AM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld