Despite high unemployment, a crappy economy and double-digit inflation affecting the cost of therapeutic massage, recent college grads aren't sweating it. Nope, according to the National Association of Colleges and Employers (losers), 41 percent of job seekers this year turned down employment offers — which is like 41 out of a hundred!
Yes, instead of working, grads are turning their iPods up and flip flops homeward to mom and dad, because according to The Times, the work "doesn't match their self-assessed market value." Meaning: They're special, so their jobs must be special.
I mean, you can't have a precious, one-of-a-kind snowflake in the mailroom. Snowflakes can't open packages. Snowflakes can't make coffee. Snowflakes are there, to be loved, as snowflakes!
And so the job becomes another spoke in the wheel of self-fulfillment, along with the belly button ring and Asian-lettered tattoo on your pelvis (which reads "stupid white person").
You could say this is what happens when self-love meets a safety net. It's not the kids, really, but the parents who indulge them. Kick 'em out, they'll find work. But to me, by not accepting work, they're missing out on a key part of life: Having a job you hate.
A rotten first job teaches you to love the better jobs that come later. Plus, a rotten job means you can invent new ways to pass time, like drinking rum in the bathroom or sleeping with a security guard. And the best part: You won't care, because the job doesn't matter. You won't have sleepless nights, just boring afternoons.
Taking a job you hate creates freedom that other people envy. And also, it'll get you out of the house, which you owe your parents.
And if you disagree with me, you're worse than Helen Thomas.
Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com
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