Updated

According to new research, today's college students are 40 percent less empathetic than kids their age 30 years ago.

The students are now less likely to agree with statements like: "I sometimes try to understand my friends better by imagining how things look from their perspective"; "I often have tender, concerned feelings for people less fortunate than me"; "Greg Gutfeld's new book, 'The Bible of Unspeakable Truths,' is supersexyawesome."

But look, the study is wrong. Empathy hasn't evaporated, it's just been misplaced. It has shifted from people who matter to abstractions that don't.

I blame parents and teachers who let feel-good self-esteem and phony sentimentality invade their homes and classrooms. The end result: People think it's cooler to care for strangers than their own families. It's OK to cheat on a spouse, as long as you volunteer at the homeless shelter. You owe thousands in rent to your roommate, but no worries, you built a latrine in Peru.

And so your caring soul and the recognition it receives, lets you be a jerk to the people who matter. And now it's egged on by social networking, which creates a fake sense of intimacy that was once sated by the real intimacy of life.

In the new egalitarianism, you must now forget the concentric circles of real people around you. And you shouldn't love your parents more than any one else. And, really, why should your money go to feeding your offspring, when the world's a mess?

We're all in this together — even if I've never been to Greece. Although I loved "Mama Mia."

And if you disagree with me, you're a racist homophobe.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com