I want to talk with you about something that no TV executive or PR consultant in their right mind would advise me to do. It's completely counter-intuitive for me to bring this up again, there is absolutely nothing to gain by doing so.
It happened over a three-day weekend and that's the best time for a story to be lost. But the times have changed; we are living in much different times, everything is changing and because of that, we must too.
Last Friday, in a bit on my radio program where I was ridiculing the president for his constant use of children as a tactic to further his agenda or shield himself, I broke my own rule: I made fun of the president and his children. I could tell you that it was misinterpreted, poorly handled or I misspoke. I could use the politician-in-trouble phrase: "the only point I was simply making was...."
Honestly, that's what I told myself for an hour or so after I got off the air, but there is something more here that I need to share because it is powerfully destructive. I honestly didn't think I was making fun of his children, but my wife spoke to me in the softest tones about an hour after I got off air; all she said was, "I heard your show today. Why would you make fun of the president's children?"
I immediately snapped at her. I told her I wasn't making fun of his children and that's how they would spin it and she didn't know how this media cabal worked? She didn't know these people; I do, I have to look at them and their words and actions every day.
My wife didn't respond. She just looked at me and said, I understand. She did understand, I just wouldn't admit it yet to myself. I immediately wrote an apology, prayed and apologized to my wife. There is no excuse or reason to ever come close to the line of dragging someone's family into the debate. I never have until last Friday and I hope that's my bottom.
All Friday, I asked myself, how could it have happened? I have an answer, but not an excuse. I share my answer because it leads me to something that I think is important for all of us.
This sometimes feels like a pretty lonely job. And I think you probably feel lonely at times too. I don't think we're all that different; we gather here everyday at five o'clock to figure out what is going on in our country. We wonder how we see things and no one else sees it. Why aren't they awake? I feel it is my responsibility to tell you what I believe is happening. I thought others in the media would join me if I could back up my arguments and also have a good track record on being right with outlining the things to come. I have done both and still those in the media remain silent. I am not sure any of them watch anymore because somehow they have convinced themselves that there is nothing here but a show, a guy trying to make money. But you know and I both know that's not the case. Believe me, there are easier ways to make money. Do you want to be the one doing this? Spreading this message? What do you get out of it? What's your motivation for watching this show? I would give it all up gladly to be wrong. But I fear I am not.
Even Barack Obama — you can't tell me that he doesn't real rage. It is common and natural, but unless we recognize it, it's dangerous. I think we are all upset. I am upset. I'm upset that with so many in this country, the truth just doesn't seem to matter anymore.
There is a well-known cycle of destruction of great societies that's been chronicled throughout history that seems to be happening now. It's the move from freedom to apostasy/apathy to bondage to humility to restoration back to freedom. We just talked about this cycle in Sunday school at church and I was very frustrated that we seem to have passed apostasy as a nation and are headed toward bondage. Shouldn't we be having the conversation about how to avoid bondage and go directly to the good parts of this cycle again?
I don't swear anymore, I gave it up along with drinking and sleeping in on Sundays, it was hard for me as I was very good at it. Last week, I noticed I was using foul language and calling people names. I was shocked to hear those words come out of my mouth, but at the time, I felt justified. And quite honestly, it felt good. They deserved it and frankly so did I.
I should have known. I should have heard the Emperor's voice in my best "Star Wars" memories: "Yes, give in to the Dark Side. Release your anger and your transformation to the Dark Side will be complete."
I lost sight: It's not transformation, it's restoration. The same question we avoid asking in this country, we avoid asking ourselves: Who am I?
At my Liberty University commencement speech, part of the advice I gave was to not let life wash over you wave by wave. You're not a rock because even the strongest rocks are eventually broken down. You have to question with boldness, explore and create who we are — I know, because I did it. But sometimes you forget that it is a never-ending process. Life is a wave and last week the waves just crashed into me.
Who have to ask ourselves who we are and who we want to become.
On Friday night, my wife and I went out to see "Robin Hood." It is the best version of that story that I think I have seen. Long story short: The king of France is landing his army on the sands of England, but Robin Hood has brought the people of England together as one. The king sees this and feels he has been misled. He tells the ships to turn around because he knows his soldiers cannot win against a united people. He then says, this does not look like a country fighting against itself.
I realized why the hatred had been growing in me and its real power to destroy. And my apology to the president and all those I disappointed wasn't enough. But it wasn't until I heard the line about fighting within ourselves, that I realized what I was supposed to do.
Times are changing and so must we. We have to raise the bar higher. Do you feel it yet? Everything is about to change and we are faced with a choice.
— Watch "Glenn Beck" weekdays at 5 p.m. ET on Fox News Channel