Are Liberals Smarter Than Conservatives?

So "Red Eye" fan and evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa e-mailed me about a paper he wrote in Social Psychology Quarterly. It's called "Why Liberals and Atheists Are More Intelligent."

Already, I hate it.

According to Satoshi, humans are "evolutionarily designed to be conservative and religious." But he claims smarter people are more likely to go against this design and become liberals and atheists. Apparently this rebelliousness doesn't show up in the rest of us dumb folk.

Now, of course, these findings will be trumpeted far and wide by the left, just as they would have been by the right if the results were different.

Which is poo-hicky.

I can safely say that I am smarter than most lefties, so smart, in fact, that I can invent words like "poo-hicky" and get away with it.

Here's why: Satoshi's really suggesting that smart people are more likely to take risks and experiment. This makes sense, but only temporarily.

It just so happens that I was once an outspoken liberal, a normal state for an attention-seeking teenager with back acne. But, after awhile, I started rejecting the easy romance of leftism, as hard reality started hitting me in the face.

So, while it takes brains to question the natural state of things, you need even more brains to later question the questioning. Smart people question their parents, but then smarter people realize later that their parents were right all along (unless of course, dad is a Baldwin).

Bottom line: Braininess isn't reflected in rebellion against common sense. Instead, it's rebellion against rebellion that shows real smarts — that and an acceptance that unicorns rule and griffins suck.

And if you disagree with me, you're probably a racist leprechaun who eats babies.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com