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Forcing Austin Attack to Fit Assumptions

So anyone with a pulse saw the Austin plane crash for what it was: An ugly event caused by a bitter weirdo.

Well, except for Washington Post scribe, Jonathan Capehart. After reading Joseph Stack's suicide note, J.C. wrote, "I am struck by how his alienation is similar to that we're hearing from the extreme elements of the Tea Party movement."

Well, Jonathan, I'm struck by what a jerk face you are. I mean, seriously dude, you couldn't have resisted, for a moment at least that urge to… go there?

Look, I know you hate those damn teabaggers, but your comment almost seems meant to parody jackasses just like you. Maybe that was your goal: It was just an elegant satire on left-wingers.

In that case, bravo, you big jerk face.

Fact is, during those massive Tea Party protests, there was no violence. As I've said before, people were throwing picnics not Molotov cocktails. The same could not be said for the WTO protestors or the dopes in Copenhagen, creeps Capehart might romanticize, because they don't shop at Walmart.

But as the great Web site HotAir pointed out, in order for Capehart to link Stack to the Tea Parties, he had to deliberately omit key parts of the suicide note. You know, the stuff where Stack bashes Republicans, Bush, our current state of health care (which he says kills thousands) and, of course, capitalism.

Why'd he do that? Well to get Stack's story to fit the assumptions that only he and his friends share, Capey had to lie. For that, he's kind of a necrophiliac, using corpses for his own delight.

Did I say "kind of"? I meant "is."

And if you disagree with me, you're probably a necrophiliac too and racist.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld (weeknights 3-4AM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld