Despite what you might be thinking as a single guy, women do want to date you. In fact, they want to date you so much that they often go against their better judgment and overlook things to cut you some slack.
It might be your fondness for T-shirts that came with your last case of beer or a habit of quoting "The Simpsons," but whatever your quirks are, trust us: The girls you are dating notice and are trying their best to see your better qualities.
Unfortunately, for every one of those special-to-you oddities that a woman is going to deal with on a case-by-case basis, there are definitely near-universal red flags women look for when sizing you up, especially on a first date. Obviously, you've all learned to be polite to the waitress, but there's more to these red flags women look for than the basics of gentlemanly behavior.
Read on for a rundown of red flags women look for and count against you.
1. Not Taking "No" for an Answer
Women are very aware of their own independence, and will be quick to get out of a situation when they feel that their decision-making isn't being respected. You might think that encouraging her to have desert after she's said "no" is showing that you want her to indulge, but what she's hearing is that you aren't taking her "no" for what it is — a choice she's already made and is justified in sticking to. This is one of the red flags women look for because it can lead to more serious control issues.
2. Bad-Mouthing Others
Men often mistakenly regard women as gossip-mongers out to cut one another down, which could lead you to believe that you can do the same. Of course, joking about the time you and your buddies made fools of yourselves over spring break is fine, but a woman won't be impressed when you dish dirt on coworkers, family or friends, or criticize those close to you. Bad-mouthing others is one of our red flags women look for because the lack of loyalty that comes through with this type of gesture will only leave her wondering if she's your next victim.
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3. Holiday Aversion
For the most part, women are the holiday-keepers in society and grow up being involved in the preparation and buildup for both major holidays and family-specific traditions. While you don't need to have a tacky Christmas sweater collection that puts Mr. Rogers to shame, professing your hatred of Valentine's Day, birthdays, Thanksgiving, and so on will leave her wondering if you had a troubled childhood or are just too morose or cheap to celebrate. Women like to be spoiled on special occasions, which is why holiday aversions is one of the more important red flags women look for.
4. Ambition Deficiency
Few women will hold your filler job as a waiter against you. In general, women respect a working man in many shapes and sizes, but there is one magic ingredient that must be present to earn her respect: Being proud of your job or the steps you're taking to get to where you want to be are attractive qualities. Consequently, slackers on the bottom rung that cross their fingers that they'll never get promoted so that they never have responsibility are not. Upward mobility is what women want in their men, which is why this is a biggy among the red flags women look for.
5. Neglectful Behavior
Everyone has heard the word chivalry, and any man of dating age should be well-versed in the basics of being a gentleman, but a quick refresher can't hurt. When out on your first date with a new woman, you need to show her that you appreciate the time you have both set aside for each other. To show this appreciation, the cell phone needs to be turned off, introductions need to be made if you run into anyone you know and conversation needs to be polite and mutual.
Don’t Wave a Red Flag
Everyone thinks of first dates, and dating in general, in different ways, usually with some kind of sporting analogy. There is some merit to playing the game; you just need to make sure that you're following rules that will keep you from throwing out any of the red flags women look for that might end the game before you even take the field. There are some things that a woman can't or won't overlook, no matter how many other great and wonderful things you have going for you. Let the games begin.