Sign in to comment!

Menu
Home

Global Warming Won't Melt Ignorance

Every day another embarrassing revelation exposes climate change experts as confused bumble-heads. The latest: Apparently the U.N. climate change panel based conclusions regarding vanishing mountain top ice on anecdotes found in a "mountaineering" magazine.

Now, this would be hilarious, if it wasn't for the fact that quadrillions of dollars are at stake. And, as you know, quadrillions can buy a lot of unicorn onesies.

This leads me to two key points:

One: This shows exactly why climate change researchers must release data and reveal methods. If they have nothing to hide, then their work's credibility will only increase. The fact that they don't want to, makes me think they're getting their data from articles in Cosmo.

(FYI: Global warming can make it harder to find your g-spot, says Darla, age 23, data analyst.)

Two: There are few real experts on climate change; the rest are pawns used to justify policies that will inevitably screw our economy. By the way, I include myself as a non-expert. I was an English major, who spent the last 20 years drunk, shirtless and weeping.

But this is a good thing because whether you think humans cause global warming or not, we're all in this boat of ignorance together and therefore should be more tolerant of opposing views.

If so-called experts are culling mountain ice data from Penthouse Letters, then we are all so-called experts.

(FYI: Apparently melting glaciers totally cause chicks to lose their tops faster, says Vic, 25, a pizza deliveryman.)

And if that doesn't make you happy, then you're probably a planet-hating racist homophobe who eats polar bears for breakfast.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld (weeknights 3-4AM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld

See the latest updates on the hottest midterm races from Fox News

Full Elections Coverage →

Keep up with all the 2014 races in

Coverage →