Imagine telling your boss: "Two out of three days, you can depend on me, big guy! Promise!" Or suggesting: "If I can't give you 100 percent, will 71 percent do?"
The IRS is actually making that a goal, promising to answer 71 percent of phone calls to its toll-free help line this year; which, by the way, is a big step up from last year, when only 64 percent of calls got through.
Not that getting through means you're through: Prepare to spend an average of 12 minutes on hold. That's a long time on hold, but better than it was, I guess.
I've heard of setting realistic goals, even reachable benchmarks, but what does it say about an organization when it starts out saying: You've got a seven-out-of-10 chance of our helping you.
And imagine what happens to those odds when you throw in the IRS also policing whether you have health care. What are we down to? Fifty percent? Forty percent?
Do they put the calls through the same call center? And what will that automated response sound like?
"If you'd like to ask about your medical deduction, press one."
"If you'd like to confirm you have medical coverage for which you can make a deduction, press two."
"If you're OK waiting a really long time, thereby necessitating more medical treatment for which you'll need more medical coverage and are inquiring as to the limits for that additional medical deduction ... press the pound key."
Don't think it can happen? Just you wait ... and wait ... and wait.
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Neil Cavuto serves as senior vice president, anchor and managing editor for both FOX News Channel (FNC) and FOX Business Network (FBN). He is anchor of FNC's Your World with Cavuto - the number one rated cable news program for the 4 p.m. timeslot - as well as the FNC Saturday show Cavuto on Business. He also hosts Cavuto on FBN weeknights at 8 p.m. In addition to anchoring daily programs and breaking news specials on FNC and FBN, Cavuto oversees business news content for both networks and FNC's weekend business shows, including Bulls & Bears, Forbes on Fox, and Cashin' In. Click here for more on Neil Cavuto.