Here's a New Year's resolution you'll definitely want to keep: Make 2010 all about shaping your sex life.
Who can resist a regimen involving more sex and romance? Between self-improvement, enhanced pleasuring, and the fun to be had planning your course of action, you (and your lover) are sure to have fun throughout the process.
So let 2010 be the year for your personal sexual revolution via these red-hot resolutions:
1. Let the spirit move you — sexually speaking.
Even when you don’t feel the urge, invite it. Be more spontaneous. This could mean touching your partner more, suggesting a new sex position on the fly, or pulling your lover away to a secluded location for one hot-'n'-heavy make out session.
2. Set up your own sex program.
Buy a handful of quality sex books. Pick and choose the activities you fancy, then map out your sex workout schedule. Don’t be afraid to make sure your significant other sticks to it.
3. Engage in all sorts of erotic talk.
Go outside of the box with the way you deliver sensual, romantic, or dirty talk. Then be sure to never run out of juice (btw, my book “Sultry Sex Talk” is due out later this year — it’s packed full of ideas).
4. Do something you would never do in the sack.
Now note: you don’t have to like it. But just try it — be a “sexplorer.” Whether it’s watching erotica that may seem unappealing or going on a sexual adventure beyond your four walls or buying that taboo sex toy, carpe diem. Then enjoy the reward of “been there, done that.”
5. Have sex in every room.
While most New Year’s resolutions are aimed at getting off the couch, get on one to get things started. Make it your mission to go beyond the bed, blessing other areas of your home. Half the fun is trying to get away with it. You may have to steal away from work or get up extra early to make this a mission accomplished.
6. Ask for what you want.
Your partner isn’t going to give you oral, turn on the video camera, or give you a tender, loving erotic massage unless you put it out there. Have 2010 be the year you reveal what turns you on and how you hope to become sexually satisfied.
7. Have more sex.
The key to coming out on top with this one (and in more ways than one) is to expand your definition of sex beyond intercourse. Note: This can include spending more quality time with yourself; having more sex and experiencing more touch are sure to put an extra spring in your step.
8. Cultivate your sexual connection.
Lovers complain about each other — a lot — and that doesn’t bode well for the bedroom. As the slogan says, “Quit your bitchin’ and start a revolution.” This starts with remembering why you like each other and reflecting on what’s needed to start feeling hot for each other again.
9. Become “sex positive.”
By that, I don’t mean doing and embracing everything under the sun, as this term has been hijacked to represent. Rather think about sex as a wonderful, full-of-pleasure part of being human that is to be celebrated and enjoyed. If you have trouble getting a handle on this, work with a sex counselor or therapist. You owe it to yourself.
10. Learn a new trick.
Add to your repertoire, acquiring at least one new technique, realizing that some may take longer than others — and quite literally, like lasting longer in bed. Actually execute on some of those sex tips the media bombards us with daily. You’ve got nothing to lose.
11. Go on more dates.
Whether you want more action or hope to find the one, you have to put yourself out there. Truth be told, most of their suggestions in those dating books are a crock. Finding somebody to fool around with or spend your life with is, like it or not, is very much a numbers game. You better your chances with the more people you hit on, go out with, and generally try to meet.
12. Become “that” couple.
Be the couple that’s always all over each other, exuding sexual energy that’s contagious. Go for the weekly sexual adventure, no apologies. Be the Joneses who everybody thinks is having way more sex than they are. Be erotically envied instead of wishing you were part of the action.
13. Take a sex workshop.
Find a qualified sex educator who’s all about better sex. This could involve everything from learning how to perform a new move or an old move better, how to experience multiple orgasms, how to have Tantric sex, or how to postpone gratification. The possibilities for more passion are endless.
14. Move on.
If you’re mourning a past sexual relationship, get over it. You can’t embrace what may come — including yourself — if you’re stuck in the past. Become forward thinking and be open to what 2010 has in store for you — which could be something better and more amazing than you’ve ever known.
15. Get in tune with your sexual self.
The sex department is a part of you, no matter how much you try to compartmentalize it. Welcome your sexuality — and its inherent sensuality — into the rest of your life. In the end, you will exude much more appeal.
16. Fight for your sexual rights – or another’s.
If you don’t stand up, who will? Battle for what is rightfully yours or be willing to accept the consequences.
17. Enjoy your efforts!
Don’t get consumed with reaching your sex goals, but enjoy the journey — all 365 days of it.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."