Dennis Miller's Most Fascinating People of 2009

This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," December 9, 2009. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

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BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, let's get right to the sage of Southern California. You just finished listening to Barbara Walters' 'Most Fascinating' list. What did you think?

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DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Spellbinding, wasn't it?

O'REILLY: Well, look, you and I — you and I are old fogeys. We know that. Way past our...

MILLER: I'm not an old fogey.

O'REILLY: No, you're not?

MILLER: I'm not an old fogey. Barbara Walters is somebody who can be giving ratings or, you know, like, huge ratings and stuff like that, discern the people who are fascinating. I don't think that way. I don't find a few of those people fascinating. A few of them are. We'll talk about the list. But I don't find Barbara Walters as the gatekeeper on the "who's fascinating" stargate to be a good choice.

O'REILLY: OK. But listen, what you think goes against economics, because the woman is fabulously successful. The special will get very high ratings tonight. She, year after year, is able to generate — look, let's take this...

MILLER: And that's your idea of fascinating?

O'REILLY: No, I'm not — I'm not — listen, I was trying to think about there aren't any politicians that are really fascinating outside of Sarah Palin, and she's on the list. I think Sarah Palin's fascinating, because the woman commands so much attention. But the rest of them are a bunch of pinheads really. I mean, who else in the political world? In the — I think Tiger Woods is a fascinating guy now, because he's in so much trouble. I mean, that is an amazing situation.

MILLER: Well, there's situational fascination.

O'REILLY: Right.

MILLER: That's sort of, you know, rubbernecking the train wreck. Let me say this. I do believe Kate Gosselin very well, very easily could be the next Barbara Walters.

O'REILLY: Do you think she's fascinating? Does she fascinate you in some way?

MILLER: I don't know anything about her, except I think she's married to the could-be Samoan kid. But I do know this: She could be the next Barbara Walters.

O'REILLY: All right. Now, Lady Gaga. I mean, are you — is that on your iPod? And I appreciate the marketing of this woman. Absolutely appreciate it. Genius.

MILLER: I thought that was the most prescient comment she had during the interview. That very well could be Kate Gosselin with a different wig.

O'REILLY: Right.

MILLER: Listen. I go gaga over chicks like Rita Hayworth and Gilda. I'm sorry.

O'REILLY: I told you you were old. Do you know who George Gobel is?

MILLER: George Gobel, the all-time great line on "The Tonight Show" when he said to Johnny, "Did you ever feel the world was a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?" It's the best line ever.

O'REILLY: She picks Brett Favre. You're a sports guy.

MILLER: Yes.

O'REILLY: I think that's a pretty good pick. Pretty good pick.

MILLER: Listen, Favre, even when he was coming back, I remember questioning it. And then I heard him say — somebody said, "What about your legacy?" And he said, "Hey, it's my legacy." And that's another one of the smartest quotations of the year. He's right. Who are we to butt in on these people's lives? If he wants to take it into the barn, fine. If he doesn't want to take it into the barn, fine.

And I'll tell you who does fascinate me, Billy. Not Adam Lambert, but Adam Lambert's dad, who came out and said, "Listen, I just think it was a bad choice, taste-wise." Good for him. So many of these kids live in rarified air. I love the fact that the old man can step in and simultaneously say, "I love my kid. I'm proud of him. This might have been a bad choice." That's all you ask for. I find Adam Lambert's dad to be fascinating.

O'REILLY: But not him, not Lambert himself?

MILLER: It's OK, but listen, I don't like guys who grab guys' heads, jam it into their crotch. When you notice it, they call you homophobic. It's not. It's just a little creepy on TV in the middle of the night. Come on.

O'REILLY: More than a little.

MILLER: Don't give me that homophobic thing on me.

O'REILLY: Well, that's what I just had to tell Barbara. Her agenda, as you know. All right. Let's get to the Miller fascinating people.

MILLER: And by the way, Billy, one person on the list, real quickly. I have to give props to Tyler Perry. I do find him to be fascinating.

O'REILLY: Yes, very creative guy. Very creative guy.

MILLER: I think he swims upstream against that rap culture. I admire him. He lost his mother today at the young age of 64. My prayers go out to him.

O'REILLY: OK, I concur. I'm going to give you one fascinating person and one not so fascinating person. Take the fascinating.

MILLER: Well, I would say that the No. 1 on Barbara's list, by the way, is probably Pelosi, because she is fascinating to me that she can ride so far up without being fascinating at all.

The not fascinating person is Harry Reid. And I think the people of Nevada feel the same, because he's down 10 points going into that election next year. And Harry, I've been waiting for a year and a half to say this. Let me be the first one to get on record and tell you, Harry, the election is lost. That feels good.

O'REILLY: Now, you don't think Harry has any fascination to him at all? Zero?

MILLER: No, I think he's a stiff every time I see him speak. I keep expecting the "CSI" team to come out and put a chalk outline around him. My top three fascinating people — my top three fascinating people this year are Ayn Rand, because I think she's at the front of an objectivist movement that's coming in this country. It's exhibited through No. 2 on my list, which is John Q. Public, as exhibited by these people at the tea party. And the No. 1 fascinating person to me, as it is every year, is the American man and woman in our military forces who afford us the opportunity to sit back here and have capricious endeavors like top 10 lists at the end of the year.

O'REILLY: All right.

MILLER: Thank you, troops, for sitting out there on the perimeter and giving us all that we have.

O'REILLY: Dennis Miller, everybody.

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