“A woman would never do that.”
“She’s not like that.”
“That’s simply not true of females.”
These are the common reactions people have when hearing about supposed exceptions to the rule when it comes to myths about women and sex. Despite the sexual revolution, women’s movement, and mass media sex infotainment efforts, people are still vastly in the dark when it comes to a woman’s sexual longings and response.
Here are just some of the notions that still need debunking:
1. She always needs to have an emotional connection for sex.
Sure, some women need romance and emotional intimacy to have sex and – more importantly – enjoy it. But every now and then, some gals have no qualms about getting down and dirty. Some can have emotionless sex. Some are able to give themselves permission to indulge in nothing but raw, carnal action.
More women likely would if it weren’t for cultural prohibitions that still exist around women enjoying themselves sexually. Even more would have sex for sex’s sake if they didn’t worry about being called whores or sluts.
2. She can't handle a one-night stand -- she always wants more.
While some women become easily attached to a potential mate in having sex, not every woman is out to seduce a man into a relationship via sex. Many can walk away, having longed for nothing more than the tryst. With society typically thinking that women are always on the prowl for long-term mates, we easily forget that, until recently, marrying was a woman’s only career path.
3. It’s going to take her forever to orgasm.
When it comes to his versus her sex drive, females have been cast as the tortoise while men are the hare. And while it may take some women a while to climax, especially during coupled sex, this isn’t the general rule.
Women who masturbate tend to orgasm more readily, with these gals often easily reaching one or more orgasms within minutes. In knowing their bodies, being able to embrace the sensations, and find freedom in letting go, these women can give the hare a run for his money. Better yet, they can become orgasmic with their lover in showing him her trigger points in a pressure-free environment.
4. Every woman has a hot G spot.
Yes, every woman has a G spot. Yet not every woman’s G spot is an erogenous zone. So if you have been digging for gold and coming up empty, your efforts may be for naught if her G spot simply doesn’t float her boat. Focus, instead, on finding other hot spots sprinkled all over her body.
5. Women don’t need sex as often as men do.
Tradition has it that women are perpetual sex anorexics while a man's sexual appetite can never be satiated. And it’s this notion that our appetite is not nearly as great that’s the problem. Women are supposed to be modest or coy when it comes to flirting with sexual desire.
Ironically, if you consider all of the touching, teasing, exhibitionism, subtle seductions that women use, their sexual appetites give men’s a run for their money. Then there’s that matter of Mother Nature making sure that she could be easily launched back into the sexual response cycle for more orgasms, just as she’s coming down from one... “Not enough” simply isn’t a part of our sexual nature.
6. She thinks that oral sex is a drag.
Overall, the sense is that providing oral pleasuring is more of an obligation than anything. If she’s into it, then the suspicion is that she wants something. But guess what? Some women actually enjoy giving fellatio. Many are not only perfectly happy that they’re making their lovers more than happy, but they’re turned on by the act, their ability to pleasure, and the sensations emanating from their lips.
7. If she fantasizes about others, then she’s not into you.
It’s not unusual for a woman to fantasize about sex with past or imaginary partners on occasion. After all, nobody can be everything to their partner, especially 100 percent of the time. Plus, fantasies of all sorts help with sexual response and actually staying monogamous. As long as it’s the exception to the rule in having sex, it shouldn’t be seen as any indicator that her relationship is in trouble.
8. She’s less likely to cheat than men.
If asked, men ‘fess up. Yeah, they cheated, which begs the question ... With whom? Adultery has payoffs for a woman. For example, having someone else interested in her means more resources. A woman simply won’t admit to her infidelity as easily, namely for fear of losing the support of her primary relationship. The scarlet letter she’s likelier to bear doesn’t exactly bring her to confessional either.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."