This is a RUSH transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," July 28, 2009. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
Watch "The O'Reilly Factor" weeknights at 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. ET!
BILL O'REILLY, HOST: In the "At Your Beck and Call" segment tonight: We at "The Factor" are now confirmed Glenn Beck watchers. It comes on at 5 p.m., and we can't wait because he does stuff like this.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GLENN BECK, HOST, "GLENN BECK": You remember when Barack Obama was on the campaign trail and said, "I'm going to have — I'm going to have an army of people in America, and they'll be better financed than, you know, than the military." I thought to myself, what? What? Who is he talking about? I think AmeriCorps is part of that army. To really go for it, I mean, you really do the AmeriCorps pledge, I think you have to be dressed like this. I think — I think you have to stand up and take your pledge. "I will get things done for America to make our people safer and smarter and healthier. I am an AmeriCorps member, and I will get things done."
(END VIDEO CLIP)
O'REILLY: Here now, the man with a plan, kind of, Glenn Beck, the author of the big best-seller "Common Sense."
GLENN BECK, HOST, "GLENN BECK": Yes.
O'REILLY: "Or How to Vacation in Lederhosen."
BECK: You've got to love New York. An hour before I went on the air I said somebody has got to give me some Lederhosen.
O'REILLY: Why though? Why the German outfit? Why the "Edelweiss?" Why? This is AmeriCorps; this is America?
BECK: Yes, I don't know.
O'REILLY: What is the Alpine thing?
BECK: Don't you love the Alps?
O'REILLY: I just got back from the Alps.
BECK: Yes. I think it's about time that we used ridicule in this country. I think — I think...
O'REILLY: Who are you ridiculing? The Germans? The AmeriCorps people?
BECK: Well, partially me.
O'REILLY: Your knees.
BECK: A big part of me…
BECK: I think this whole idea of AmeriCorps, and — which would — will eventually, if Rahm Emanuel gets his way, will be required service from 18- to 24-year-olds.
O'REILLY: Like they have in Switzerland. You've got to join the army or some kind of thing.
BECK: That's fantastic. I'll pledge to change the world. I'm AmeriCorps member.
O'REILLY: AmeriCorps is just a bunch of kids volunteering to do good things.
BECK: Volunteer. There's a difference between a volunteer and a draft.
O'REILLY: No, we don't have that yet.
BECK: Yet. Thank you.
O'REILLY: But it's always about what's around the corner with you. Just say we don't get it. Just say we don't get it.
BECK: You don't get it.
O'REILLY: So AmeriCorps, you volunteer to help your community or another community. I did that in college. I never had a problem with it. I was in Kentucky and (UNINTELLIGIBLE), help the poor people.
BECK: I have never had a problem with AmeriCorps. Never.
O'REILLY: Nobody forced me to wear short pants but I went, and it was good.
BECK: I want to know when you're in AmeriCorps, are you going to get — because we're going to make them. Do they get little badges? Do they get, like, this badge I got for harassing a bank?
O'REILLY: What's wrong with that? What is wrong with a bunch of people signing up to help other people?
BECK: Because you've got a community organizer as president of the United States.
O'REILLY: Just because it's his idea you don't like it?
BECK: No. Just because we are being infested. This country is having framework built around it. There's an exoskeleton built around our republic.
O'REILLY: A skeleton?
O'REILLY: Wow. Does it have lederhosen?
BECK: And this is very easy to do. I think he's making fun of me.
O'REILLY: I'm not with you on the AmeriCorps. I think the AmeriCorps thing can be a good thing.
BECK: I do.
O'REILLY: All right. Now, you put on your "Factor" hat.
O'REILLY: Are you all right?
O'REILLY: It says "T.F." That's "The Factor." And then you interviewed yourself because no other guests will come on your program.
O'REILLY: Roll the tape.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BECK: Welcome to the program. A lot of people say you've lost your mind.
Well, you know, I have lost my mind. You know, but what's the difference between me and you? You know what I mean? I've lost my mind. You're a big fat fatty.
You're starting to sound a little nuts.
I am sounding crazy.
Yes, you are, just a little bit.
What a surprise that you would say that. I knew you'd say that. The magic bean in my pocket told me you'd say that. I know who you are.
Thank you very much.
Oh my God, really? Get off of my screen. Get off of my screen, you pinhead.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
O'REILLY: Now, not many people know this, but he has a twin brother and that's it, you know.
BECK: Uh-huh. I told you about the missing brother that I had last week. Pillsbury Doughboy.
O'REILLY: You're off two days a week, and he's in, and nobody even knows.
BECK: It's the greatest scam ever.
O'REILLY: Now, that was just making fun of people who are saying that you're certifiable, right? That was mocking them, ridiculing them.
BECK: People are saying that? Yes. Yes. Actually, it was my homage to you. I was wearing my...
O'REILLY: "Factor" hat.
BECK: "Factor" hat. The reason why I have a "Factor" hat is because, you know, sometimes I will go into really dangerous areas here in Manhattan, you know, like Greenwich Village, where they take people like you and hang us up by piano wire.
O'REILLY: And you see the...
BECK: I think it's great, because they're usually so stupid they don't know I'm saying right into their face "The Factor," pal.
O'REILLY: "The Factor," OK.
BECK: "The Factor." And they're like, "T.F., is that a good school?" Uh-huh.
O'REILLY: Now, here is a serious question. You make points on your program that people — will affect people's lives. You wrote "Common Sense." And you want — you want the country to be a good country, OK.
O'REILLY: But you do a lot of this kind of whacked-out stuff, the dancing with the lederhosen and interviewing yourself. Do you run a risk that some people are just going to dismiss the serious stuff that you're doing, the important points you're trying to make, because of the burlesque?
BECK: I think — burlesque?
O'REILLY: That means...
BECK: I've never...
O'REILLY: Not about that.
BECK: All I'm willing to go.
O'REILLY: I don't think we need to see that.
BECK: OK, so maybe next week.
O'REILLY: Overall arch of the performance.
BECK: Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Yes, I do run that risk.
BECK: But have you seen the ratings at 5 p.m.?
O'REILLY: I have.
BECK: OK. Don't get those ratings at 5 p.m. by being Charlie Rose. My whole idea is, I mean, my magazine is called Fusion. You put entertainment and you put the truth...
BECK: ... you fuse them together, people will watch.
O'REILLY: But can it be confusing?
BECK: It's not confusing for you, is it?
O'REILLY: Yes, it's very confusing. Well, I should probably take back what I just said. I know what performance art is. I do a bit of it here. We don't wear lederhosen here unless it's, you know, stylish. But I do think you run the risk of people just not knowing what this is all about. Particularly not Glenn Beck radio people. They know you. And the television people. People are just kind of cruising by.
BECK: Here's the thing I can't do. And I made this decision early on, because my radio show is a lot of comedy, too. And you get a lot of complaints from people, etc., etc. I can't service the people who don't watch or listen. If you only half watch or half listen, well, you're going to be offended. You're going to be confused. But Bill, I do know that you watch the show, just like I watch "The Factor."
O'REILLY: You want a narrative. Basically, you're putting out a narrative out there that you have to follow every day.
BECK: You've got to follow it.
O'REILLY: OK. So it's not a stand-alone. It all works...
BECK: Lederhosen doesn't really work on its own.
BECK: It's part of a trilogy. A goofball trilogy.
O'REILLY: I have to say that when I saw this in my office, No. 1, you know, I thought you were back on the sauce.
BECK: It could happen at any time.
O'REILLY: No. 2 — No. 2, I said to myself, is this the Hitler Youth thing he's doing?
O'REILLY: You know, because the Hitler Youth had the little short pants.
BECK: Yes, but that's lederhosen there. That's completely different.
O'REILLY: Are you sure it wasn't the Hitler Youth thing that you were doing with the AmeriCorps stuff?
BECK: I think people — I think people — that would confuse people. I think they might — just saying.
O'REILLY: Beck, I think it was the Hitler Youth thing.
BECK: I don't know what you're talking about, Bill O'Reilly. And I am offended by that and confused.
O'REILLY: All right. Glenn Beck, everybody. If you have an unusual outfit at home, you can send it to him. And he may...
BECK: No. Please don't. Please don't.
O'REILLY: ... wear it.
Content and Programming Copyright 2009 FOX News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Transcription Copyright 2009 CQ Transcriptions, LLC, which takes sole responsibility for the accuracy of the transcription. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No license is granted to the user of this material except for the user's personal or internal use and, in such case, only one copy may be printed, nor shall user use any material for commercial purposes or in any fashion that may infringe upon FOX News Network, LLC'S and CQ Transcriptions, LLC's copyrights or other proprietary rights or interests in the material. This is not a legal transcript for purposes of litigation.