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FOXSexpert: 10 Steps to Extended Massive Orgasm

Extended Massive Orgasm – the term itself packs a powerful passion punch. This experience of one orgasmic wave after the next has become the grand dame of climaxes. Those who pursue the extended massive orgasm (EMO) report enjoying more of life’s joys in general. After experiencing one of these massive orgasms, lovers have been known to become nicer and more generous in their relationship.

PHOTOS: 14 Foods to Boost Your Sex Drive.

These results aren’t surprising given that EMO makes for more amazing orgasms. It helps lovers realize heightened intimacy, increased sexual confidence, and better communication skills. So what exactly are the tricks of this tantalizing trade?

An extended massive orgasm can last minutes or hours, offering up blissful sensations at increasing intensities. Here are the key ingredients to making this earth-shattering event happen ...

1. Truly recognize your pleasure. You want to immediately approve of your present sensations. This needs to happen before you can expect increased feelings of pleasure.

This starts before you even get in the sack by overcoming anxieties you have about sex. This may require identifying limitations you’ve been taught about sex, like how you’re supposed to respond (or not respond). You need to then challenge any social conditioning that impedes upon your response.

Whether in therapy or on your own, doing so also allows you to tackle any sex guilt, which shuts down your response. Ridding yourself of the uninvited “others” in your bed will enable you to solely focus on the orgasmic sensations, including ones that come from simply anticipating action.

2. Learn to relax. Lovers have the tendency to tense up during sexual excitement. While a natural response, it’s not conducive to extended orgasm. You need to be able to surrender your nervous system during genital stimulation. It’s this letting go of tension that allows you to embrace your pleasure.

The process of learning to relax is two-fold. First, it involves actively countering tension responses. Little tricks like spreading your toes or pushing out your pelvic floor muscles (as though going to the bathroom) can help you to relax.

Second, you want to ensure that you’re mentally relaxed, letting your lover into your personal space and surrendering to her as well.

3. Get in the know. The more we know about our bodies, sex, and sexual response, the better we can recognize sensations, the more we can lose ourselves in them. If you’re not already, become knowledgeable about sexual response, sexual anatomy, and erotic techniques.

Part of this process involves making friends with your own and your partner’s genitals. Masturbating further allows you to explore your sexual potential and what should be employed when you’re with your partner.

4. Give yourselves time for pleasuring. EMO is no rush job. It can’t be experienced as a quickie. It involves flirting. Try flashing one another, and giving teasing touches.

Lovers may stimulate each other by fantasizing out loud, taking your time getting to the genitals and hot spots. Teasing allows for greater energy awareness and arousal, and these are what make the experience ultimately so mind-blowing.

5. Touch for pleasure. Stimulating a partner shouldn’t be blasé. You want to load on positive attention in inviting more of a pleasure fest. Delighting what you’re doing derives more enjoyment for both parties.

You can show your partner that you’re into the moment by informing them about what you’re going to do so he can surrender more easily. Highlighting a lover’s physical responses further enables them to tune into the sensations.

6. Learn to channel your energy. You want to get out of your head, directing your energy to your groin. This will make for more explosive results, plus help you to further tune into your sexual response. An effective way to channel your energy involves visualizing that you’re sending it down your body to your genitals.

7. Become an effective communicator. To amp things up, you may need to request changes that will intensify your pleasure if you’re the receiver. As the giver, you may need to ask for feedback or direction. In either case, asking for more will help you to feel more. The more attention you can bring to the pleasure at hand, the greater your ability to expand and amplify that pleasure.

Add to this happy noises and you’ve got the love fest of the ages. The moment is enhanced in verbally acknowledgement of your pleasure and showing appreciation. (Note: moans and groans work well). Giving approval can do wonders for a lover’s ego.

8. Develop your pelvic floor muscles. Exercising your pubbococcygeus (PC) muscle will put you more in tune with your sexual response. It’s also what makes for more powerful orgasms. Your PCs can be engaged as you’re being stimulated.

9. Have plenty of lubricant handy. You’ll be loving for the long-haul. So make sure you avoid the friction, pain, and discomfort that can result from working each other raw by using lube.

10. Do away with any drive-thru mentality. Having an EMO isn’t like going for fast food. You can’t go into it thinking instant gratification. Instead, approach it as though training for a sport.

You want to have a long-term plan to realize one of life’s greatest pleasures. Seek to have a comfortable space, one full of pillows, sensual lighting, and, basically, inviting for the extended orgasm experience. Make such lovemaking a regular romantic routine that’s not so routine.

With all of these components in place, you can coax extended massive orgasm by teasing your lover using a variety of manual stimulation techniques. Books like Steve and Vera Bodansky’s “The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm” offer lovers a number of strokes, pressures, and maneuvers that bring your lover to a peak and down again for the ride of their lives.

Ultimately, lovers want to build pelvic fullness and get as close to the edge of orgasm as possible and then back off to postpone release. In maintaining this dance between peaking and coming down only to peak again, they can satiate one orgasmic wave after the next.

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."

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