Palau Is the New Gitmo

(FNC)

So President Obama finally figured out what to do with those detainees at Gitmo and it only cost $12 million per captive. That's right: We're sending those 17 Chinese Muslim terror suspects to a place called Palau, in exchange for $200 million in aid.

FYI: Palau is a little island that served as the site for "Survivor" — twice — so it's obviously familiar with housing no-good, belligerent weasels.

Let me get this straight: Obama's solution for fulfilling his promise to dismantle a prison camp in a foreign land is to send them to a foreign place that has awesome snorkeling and great sunsets.

Truly, this is change we can believe in. And, also be totally jealous of!

And this is what happens when you make a campaign promise, without any actual plan behind it. You're left with whatever you had before, except of course, it's less safe and now costs us $200 million.

And it really makes you wonder what Obama has planned for health care. My guess is, it won't be much better, it will cost a zillion dollars and — unlike the dudes in Palua — we won't get Mai Tais or temporary henna tattoos.

And that's what really pisses me off. If I had known what Obama was willing to pay to house these folks, I would have volunteered my basement — which could easily take a dozen of these dudes. True, it would be a little tight, but that's why I've invested in double bunk beds. They can sleep four up and four across, with each person's belly serving as another inmate's pillow.

It's kind of like a bed and breakfast, if by "breakfast" you mean "Twister."

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com