On Tuesday, the Pakistani Taliban decided that it wants a peace deal — kind of like the one they had originally before they ramped up killing and maiming people in awful ways (which to them, is basic yard work.) And then, quickly and appropriately, they got their hairy asses handed to them on a goat.
No wonder they're up for a truce!
And here we find another lesson on how the world really works: Truces mean nothing to people consumed by fanatic ideology. And a resident fool, I'm willing to suggest it's the very unwillingness to compromise that makes them fanatics! And vice versa.
The Taliban, for example, want their Sharia law — along with their unmanageable beards, their institutionalized abuse of women and gays, their barbaric notions of justice — and nothing is ever going to shake this twisted worldview from their lice-infested heads.
Well, there is one way: death.
The latest round of fighting eliminated roughly 1,100 Taliban from our pleasant, noisy orb — a development that transcends all language barriers and religious differences. The simple ultimatum — "stop hurting people or face death" — is the only way you can talk to freaks that hate you and want you dead.
In this strange new world, it helps to be reminded of this: While the symbolism of an "unclenched fist" soars in speeches, it makes little impact when you want to hit someone.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 9-10PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.