When I was about 10 — and because of a court order — I had to go to summer school where I sat next to this older kid named Pat, who tormented me daily, in our leather class.
(It's not what you think: We made wallets and belts.)
Every day, the jerk would wait for me after school and demand money from me, which I refused, even as his threats got worse. Finally, though, I gave him 50 cents and he seemed to like me.
He patted me on the back. Then, he ran me over on his bike.
I only bring this up because I now see President Obama regularly engaging in dialogue with bullies, who for years have been crapping all over America.
I hope that Obama knows that dialogue and friendly handshakes mean nothing to them. Because if there's one thing I've learned it's you can't rehab a bully.
Bullies can't afford to change, because their power exists only through fear, not through effectiveness. I mean, things are so bad for Hugo Chavez at home, that shaking a fist at America is all he can do to keep the spotlight off his own sorry ass.
What's even worse: Chavez is a blowhard bully we could destroy in our sleep — which is precisely why he keeps bullying. He knows that being the David to our Goliath guarantees victimhood if we decide to shut him up.
But by lecturing us on what's wrong with America, Chavez is giving Obama a golden opportunity to do something we'd all love to see: To stand up for America, by flattening Hugo like a frittata.
I, for one, would like to see if Obama's suit isn't as empty as Hugo thinks.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Sundays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.