A quick trip around Hannity's America...

"New" Afghan Plan?

Friday, with his national security team by his side, President Obama unveiled what he called a new strategy for fighting the war in Afghanistan. But, he ended up sounding a lot like somebody else I know.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: Protecting America from another attack is the most important responsibility of the federal government, the most solemn obligation that a president undertakes.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: As president, my greatest responsibility is to protect the American people.

BUSH: This is not, however, just America's fight and what is at stake is not just America's freedom. This is the world's fight.

OBAMA: This is not simply an American problem, far from it. The safety of people around the world is at stake.

BUSH: Our offensive against the terrorists includes far more than military might.

OBAMA: A campaign against extremism will not succeed with bullets or bombs alone.

BUSH: Afghanistan's success is critical to the security of America and our partners in the free world.

OBAMA: And what's at stake at this time is not just our own security, it's the very idea that free nations can come together on behalf of our common security.

BUSH: There will be difficult moments in the work ahead. Yet, we can be confident in the outcome.

OBAMA: So I understand the road ahead will be long and there will be difficult days ahead.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

So let me get this straight: Al Qaeda is plotting to attack us here in the U.S., the security of the entire world depends on the outcome of Afghanistan, and President Obama doesn't think we are in the midst of fighting a global War on Terror? Frightening!

Captain Charisma

White House press secretary, "minister of spin," my dear friend Robert Gibbs is back for Liberal Translation. He was asked at Thursday's White House briefing when exactly the president will unveil his plans for Afghanistan and he gave a characteristically eloquent response.

He's really got this job down:

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ROBERT GIBBS, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: I think it is —

LIBERAL TRANSLATION: Here we go again…

GIBBS: When the president is ready to make an announcement, obviously, we will — that's likely to happen before we go overseas.

LIBERAL TRANSLATION: Um… Um… Um…

GIBBS: I would look for that as early as the next few days.

LIBERAL TRANSLATION: What can I say? Precision is my forte!

GIBBS: I know that the president spoke about it today in the meeting. I don't know to the degree to which he fully briefed on that, but obviously, I think it's something you'll see as early as the next few days.

LIBERAL TRANSLATION: Um… Um…

("LOONEY TUNES" THEME MUSIC)

PORKY PIG: Th-Th-Th-Th-That's all folks!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

Great performance, Robert. See you next week, if you're not fired.

Sandinista Bailout

It started with the big banks and mortgage giants. Well guess who is asking for a payday now? None other than the leader of the Sandinista Socialist Party, President of Nicaragua Daniel Ortega.

The former Soviet Union supporter and close pal of Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez recently told reporters that he thinks it would be a good idea for the United States to provide an economic bailout plan for all of Central America.

According to the Miami Herald, not only does he think it's a good idea, Ortega took it one step further, saying of the United States "...it is their obligation to give resources to the region."

And fear not, Ortega's demands will soon be in good hands as Nicaragua's deputy foreign minister plans to discuss the matter with Vice President Joe Biden at a regional meeting in Costa Rica this week.

I just hope somebody fills the deputy foreign minister in on the cardinal rule: Nobody messes with Joe.

Solar Solution?

President Obama flew to Denver, Colorado, to sign the stimulus bill at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, just so he could tout the extra special green benefits of the solar energy panels on top of the museum.

He and the vice president took a tour of the museum and saw those panels in person before the bill signing. This is what the president had to say about green energy just before he signed the bill:

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

OBAMA: This investment will place smart meters in homes to make our energy bills lower, make outages less likely and make it easier to use clean energy. It's an investment that will save taxpayers over $1 billion by slashing energy costs in our federal buildings by 25 percent, save working families hundreds of dollars a year on their energy bills by weatherizing over one million homes.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

As it turns out, those solar panels the president was so excited about aren't as cost-friendly as he suggested. They cost a whopping $720,000, which the museum couldn't even pay for itself! Instead, a company called the Hybrid Energy Group paid for them, with a lot of help from the federal government through a series of rebates called solar rewards.

Which, you know, given the incentives of a free market system, might help explain why solar panels haven't exactly taken off as a primary energy source in America. Maybe that's why millionaires like our vanquished Vice President Al Gore are the only people who use them right now. Nobody can afford it!

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