So someone named Pippa Bartolotti has invited me three times to the "Great Facebook Peace Bed-In," which starts Wednesday, March 25. It marks the 40th anniversary of the first peace "bed-in" by John Lennon and his mother, Yoko Ono.
Pippa says the bed-in will promote peace and then adds — without attribution — that 40 percent of American tax dollars feed the war machine.
Well, you really can't expect someone named Pippa to be that good at math; I mean, that's a more fitting name for someone who paints rainbow banners at the arts center.
(Don't forget the glitter, Pippa!)
But that's not what chaps my thong.
No, I'm troubled by peace promoting method, which is asking people to take a day off from work. Her method of raising awareness is for you to screw over fellow employees who have to fill in for your lazy ass. You're shirking work not for an emergency, but for some sad, symbolic gesture meant to elevate your frothy ego.
Oh, Pippa, Pippa, Pippa.
If one of John Lennon's maids called in sick for peace, he'd fire the loafer in a heartbeat — if he had one. And, in case you haven't noticed, there's an economic crisis and millions of people are unemployed. I'm sure most of them would be glad to work on March 25.
So by all means, Pippa, take that day off. But don't be surprised if someone new is sitting at your desk on March 26. I mean, if you have a desk. You could be working at home for all we know.
Which makes your sacrifice even sillier.
And if you disagree with me, you're worse than Hitler.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.