Almost all lovers get to a point where they want to take their show on the road.
Bored with bedroom antics or looking for thrills, some partners brainstorm places to have sex. Others seize the moment. The trick for all of them is not getting caught, let alone arrested. Yet for some people, getting busted or being seen is half the fun.
Over the years, I’ve heard plenty of risky rendezvous stories. So for your reading pleasure — and whatever else you want to do with the following — I’ve arranged daring destinations by risky, riskier and riskiest.
Note: I’m not advocating that you try any of these scenarios. But, since it’s Valentine’s Day, you may be tempted by your inner “sexpeditionist” this weekend. So make sure to proceed with caution...
1. The Great Outdoors. Considered one of the “safest” places for sexual pursuits, Mother Nature inspires lovers to get in touch with their primitive nature. Whether on a hike, out walking, or horseback riding, who can resist the fresh air, warm sun and gentle breezes that beckon your sensual side? Lovers become Adam and Eve as they strip down in the woods, a meadow or a stream.
2. On a Golf Course. I attended Penn State for my undergraduate degree, and part of my workout routine was running around the university’s really nice golf course. I’d often daydream about what it’d be like to make love on the green one star-filled night. It never happened, but should the opportunity ever present itself, it might be more readily seized with the lowered risk of a cloud-covered night.
3. In a Barn. The lyrics to “Lying in the Hay” by Mireille and Jean Nohain make it hard to resist hunting down an abandoned barn: “I don’t care about the sheets; I won’t be trapped by the bed; I will gather and savor sweet thrills.” Lovers are easily overcome by a sweet-smelling, straw-strewn hayloft as they literally go for a roll in the hay.
4. Atop a Balcony. Whether high above a courtyard, above the beach, or city streets, hooking up on a terrace invites the thrill of: Who might look up? Lovers can make a nest of pillows, cushions and sleeping bags as they take in the sky above and the noises around them.
For those of you who live in apartment buildings, the rooftop terrace is always an option. It’s quite amazing at night under the city lights. This does, though, become riskier if neighbors from other buildings can sneak a peak.
5. In a Department Store. Lovers tend to like shopping together when it involves action in a changing room. Whether shopping for casual wear or lingerie, partners enjoy “assisting” each other. Better yet, they love observing their efforts in the full-length mirror.
6. In a Graveyard. I don’t understand this one. The idea of it seems very creepy. But people have been known to hook up amongst tombstones. In Amherst, Mass., students have been known to visit the graveyard of Emily Dickinson for make-out sessions.
7. At a Bath House. Like it or not, steam baths or gay saunas, as they’re known, are a place where members go when they want sex in public without getting hassled. The risk factor involves who you might run into and the stranger sex component, which invites sexual health risks.
8. Nightclubs. While swingers clubs are a whole other story, nightclubs see their fair share of couples gone wild. Some are sex clubs that encourage sexual experimentation. Others are resort clubs, which challenge people to tap into their animal instincts. From kissing to groping to fondling to all out sex in darkened corners and bathroom stalls, nightclubs allow what most other venues do not.
9. Parked Cars. Well-known for its role in helping people to lose their virginity, this sex spot has been utilized in parking garages, drive-in movies and parking lots.
10. In a Raft or Canoe. A form of sex in the great outdoors, floating devices allow you to get away with the unthinkable on water, as long as you’re lying down.
11. At the Beach. If you’ve been to the beach, you’ve probably seen them – that couple under the blanket who may or may not be doing something lewd. It’s hard not to get carried away by the salty air, sunshine and crash of the tides.
Just remember to keep it classy and not too risky by escaping to the dunes or a secluded part of the beach. Some people have been known to take to the ocean.
12. On a Bench. An abandoned park bench holds a great deal of rapture for the adventuresome couple. Just be careful not to get splinters. Discretion is advised.
13. Church Pews. Yes, it’s unthinkable. And yes, it’s disrespectful and wrong, at least in my opinion. But a few people do more than just fantasize about stealing away to a church during its quiet times.
14. In the Office. If you’ve got your own private office, practically anything goes. You’re the boss, right? If you don’t have a private work space, you’re taking on a whole other set of risks. Meeting for a tryst at this site is best done after hours. In either case, if you must take to the photocopy room, be sure to take any evidence with you.
15. Public Pools or Hot Tubs. While some people steal away to the dressing room, others are carpe diem when it comes to sexing it up in secluded bodies of water. It sounds a little sexy ‘til you talk to the people that need to clean these public facilities. It’s anything but sexy!
16. At a Restaurant. People have been known to attempt more than footsie under the table. This risky business can easily get you kicked out of the establishment. Such sex feats are not easy to pull off.
17. At the Movies. While there are x-rated movie theaters that have a no-holds bar about pleasuring yourself, the classic cinema is a riskier endeavor. Sweethearts, especially younger ones, have been known to try to get away with more than kissing.
18. In an Elevator. For those emboldened enough to pull off elevator action, don’t expect more than a quickie of any sort. And discretion is obviously key. Not only do you have to worry about other riders, but the video cameras that are sure to catch all of it.
19. In a Phone Booth. While these are becoming a thing of the past, lovers have gotten more than a little frisky in pretending to call someone.
20. Public Transportation. Given so many of us use some form of public transportation almost daily, it’s hard to fathom that people actually pursue such high-risk sexual stunts. Whether riding a subway, hoping to join an airline’s “Mile High Club,” or getting naughty on a night train, people will go to “sextremes” for simply the bragging rights.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."Click here to read more FOXSexpert columns.