This is a rush transcript from "Hannity & Colmes," January 9, 2009. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEAN HANNITY, CO-HOST: Last night President Clinton and Senator Bob Dole finally squared off in their first presidential debate, and Bob Dole proved that he has a better vision for the future of America. He's going to give you back more of your money.
ALAN COLMES, CO-HOST: And drive the deficit up. You know, sometimes to be successful all you have to do is show up, and last night Bob Dole proved that. Did he change anyone's mind? I don't think so.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
COLMES: By the way, who was that?
HANNITY: Oh, that is so painful.
COLMES: You were — we were young once.
HANNITY: First of all, I want to — I've got to get this out before we really go any further.
COLMES: Here we go.
HANNITY: No, no, this — because if we don't get this — you know, this is our last show together.
HANNITY: And we've been...
COLMES: I've got news for you: I'm staying.
HANNITY: Well, you're welcome.
COLMES: That's my parting gift.
HANNITY: But first of all, I want to say — look at that. I had no business being on television. Verne Gay (ph) was right with — at Newsday, when he wrote...
COLMES: The first guy who took us apart.
HANNITY: Well, he said you looked (UNINTELLIGIBLE). I had a bad haircut. But I want to — you know, you wanted to do this for, what? You decided to...
COLMES: We decided — we started talking around Labor Day, even before that, about you know, I wanted to make some changes. They said please stay through the election, and we kind of worked out the timing of the whole thing.
COLMES: And they were terrific about it on what we call the second floor, the executive suite here.
HANNITY: And there are — you're working on new projects.
HANNITY: Which we're going to be hearing about soon.
COLMES: We'll be discussing some of the new projects coming up, and our audience will know about it.
HANNITY: Well, first of all, I want to say thank you. It's been — no, no — in spite of our political disagreements...
HANNITY: ... we've had a wonderful 12 years together, for a little over 12 years.
COLMES: That's hard for some people to believe...
COLMES: ... that we had a friendship, actually, that preceded the FOX News Channel.
HANNITY: We did, we did.
COLMES: We were both in radio, which got us here in the first place.
HANNITY: I don't know why our boss hired us.
COLMES: Not that picky (ph).
HANNITY: Look at that tape.
HANNITY: I mean, he should never have hired us.
COLMES: That is not an audition tape for our next job.
HANNITY: No, no. But you know what? We — it's never been personal.
HANNITY: And I think — as I think back of the years, I think I feel very blessed. John Kasich is right. You are — hang on. You are a class act, Alan Colmes.
COLMES: Thank you for reading that off the card.
HANNITY: No, no, no, no. I'm not reading it. You are — you are a good person.
COLMES: Thank you.
HANNITY: You are a personal friend.
COLMES: This is going to kill you with conservatives.
HANNITY: Hang on a second. I'm going to miss you...
COLMES: Thank you.
HANNITY: ... on this program. And I honestly, you know — I honestly — I can't believe you abandoned me.
COLMES: Well, that — look, people should know that you're terrific to work with. You have worked so hard for this show.
COLMES: You certainly have a great instinct. You know what the audience wants. You've been a terrific partner. I'll miss being here every night.
HANNITY: We'll miss you.
COLMES: I'm very proud of what you've accomplished.
HANNITY: Same with you.
COLMES: And that you will go on to do great things with your new show.
COLMES: And that I'm — I'm proud of what we did here that enables you go forward and do what you're going to be doing.
HANNITY: No, and I — and I'm looking forward to all the stuff which I know about, but I'm not allowed to tell. So it's coming.
Now, we're going to take a little look back, and then I have presents for you.
COLMES: I have a couple of things for you.
HANNITY: I have three presents for you.
COLMES: I have a couple for you.
HANNITY: OK. Well, first, we're going to take a look back as we end "Hannity & Colmes." Let's take a look back throughout the past few years.
HANNITY: He's the guy that's on your side.
COLMES: I'm on your side.
HANNITY: He's the one.
COLMES: Watch out for this guy over here.
JANET RENO, FORMER ATTORNEY GENERAL: You said you were on my side.
COLMES: No, no, you got us confused. Watch out for this guy.
ROBERT KENNEDY JR., ENVIRONMENTAL ADVOCATE: You're reading from an advertisement by the Energy Steward Alliance.
HANNITY: No, I'm not. Let me — let me put on — wait a minute...
KENNEDY: Sean, Sean, this is not honest. This is not honesty, OK?
HANNITY: Get my still (ph) ready from the Boston paper. Let me — let me get my still (ph) ready from the Boston paper.
KENNEDY: This is not honest, to say that you're reading from a geological survey.
HANNITY: It is — let me quote — let me put it up — let me quote it right here — let me — give me my paper.
KENNEDY: This is from an energy (ph) propaganda.
HANNITY: Can I — I'm going to put up from the Boston — hang on a second. Hang on a second.
NIGER INNIS, CONGRESS OF RACIAL EQUALITY: The answer to your question is no.
INNIS: He wants his own appointee.
COLMES: Niger, does he want — stop filibustering.
INNIS: That's not filibustering. That's not filibustering.
COLMES: Niger, Niger.
INNIS: No, no. Alan, Alan.
COLMES: Can we get just one "Danke Shein"? Is that asking too much?
WAYNE NEWTON, SINGER: Just one?
COLMES: Yes. Two? Three?
NEWTON (singing): Danke shein. Alan, danke shein.
(speaking) Get ready for this. Here it comes.
NEWTON (singing): Thank you for all the joy and pain.
COLMES: ... pain.
HANNITY: Oh, man. It's unbelievable, isn't it? How fast time has gone. It's really amazing.
You know what? We both have said this to each other often, and I'll bring our audience in, that we feel very blessed to have had this opportunity.
HANNITY: One funny thing is we would always say the worst words in the English language for you are...
COLMES: "Sean's up."
HANNITY: When a producer says it. And mine are "Alan's up."
COLMES: We've got to — unfortunately, we have a little time left. We've got to get to the gifts.
HANNITY: I've got — here's the first present. And Barack Obama, surprisingly, signed this to you.
(HOLDS UP PICTURE OF OBAMA AT THE BEACH IN SWIMSUIT)
COLMES: That's really — that's nice.
HANNITY: And it says, "Alan. Here's to a great 2009. I'll be in the White House, and you'll be free of Hannity. XOXO, Barack Obama."
COLMES: I'd like to — here's what I — here's my question, though. Why is this in Hillary's handwriting?
HANNITY: Now here's present No. 2.
COLMES: All right.
HANNITY: Now, before — when I would give speeches, I would always — I'd do about 15 minutes of Alan Colmes material. You do the same thing when you gave speeches. And we — I'd always approve the jokes ahead of time.
COLMES: Yes, that's true. That's true.
HANNITY: But one of the jokes I'd use when I was out on the road, and it became a long-standing joke between us, is — and I finally got one. I'd say, you know, "Alan Colmes and I haven't spoken in the last year, you know, since his birthday. And I gave him a present."
And the audience would go, "Well, what did you give him?"
An all-expense-paid hunting trip with our vice president, Dick Cheney.
COLMES: That's the story.
HANNITY: All right.
COLMES: Taking one last shot.
HANNITY: Are you ready for the good one? You don't have a good watch. You have a Timex.
COLMES: What do you mean? My — yes, this is an old...
HANNITY: It's a Timex.
COLMES: No, it's not a Timex.
HANNITY: All right. Listen, I've noticed it over the years.
HANNITY: I have a good friend in Atlanta, Lee Brand Jewelers, and I wanted to buy you something special. And this is a special Rolex, top of the line, watch for you.
COLMES: Thank you very much.
HANNITY: And it has a special feature. Every time my radio show and "Hannity" starts, it will beep to remind you to watch.
COLMES: Does it have a — wait a minute. Wait a minute: one question. Does it have a mute?
COLMES: That's giving — no, thank you. That is lovely. I don't know how much time we have, but this is very quick. You can open this quickly. This is very fast. This is something — well, I'm not going to be here...
HANNITY: What is it?
COLMES: I'll tell you what. We can hold — we can hold this till — we have a short segment when we get back. We only have 30 seconds. Hang on. We'll give you these when you get back. I'm not going to be there. You're going to need fair and balanced. So those are the complete works of Karl Marx, including "The Communist Manifesto."
HANNITY: "The Communist Manifesto."
COLMES: So — and I'll give you the other gift when we get back. So I do have one gift.
Coming up, our financial goodbyes after the break. Our final moments on "Hannity & Colmes" in just a moment.
COLMES: Well, here in our last segment, this is my final gift to you.
HANNITY: All right. Thanks for "The Communist Manifesto."
COLMES: Yes, yes. I actually got Karl Marx to sign it for you.
There's a map, and I believe we can put it up on the screen, Hannity's America, where all the states are red. Except, there's a blue dot in Berkeley, California, and Cambridge, Massachusetts. So...
HANNITY: Now, that, I appreciate.
COLMES: That's the America I know that represents you.
I just want to say it's been great working with you. I want to thank — Roger Ailes has been great to me. The legendary Chet Collier, who hired us.
COLMES: The late Chet Collier, just great. We have a terrific crew.
HANNITY: Absolutely. That's true.
COLMES: A great staff, great production staff. And, especially, the audience. The conservatives who watch this, I want to thank you very much for putting up with me. And especially those who wrote me the e-mails the last few days, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."
HANNITY: Oh! I want to say one thing. Listen, I agree, we wouldn't be here, but we saw those pictures. Roger shouldn't have hired us.
COLMES: He took a...
HANNITY: He took a huge chance. And we're very blessed. And all the producers along the way.
HANNITY: Bill Shine and Bob Manago (ph) and Meade and Peter Zorich.
COLMES: Peter Zorich.
HANNITY: And John Finley.
COLMES: Our first producer.
HANNITY: I want to say this.
HANNITY: Alan Colmes, you're a great American. You're a class act.
COLMES: Thank you very much.
HANNITY: Thank you for 12 and a half wonderful years. God bless you. We're still...
COLMES: Thank you. And the same right back to you.
HANNITY: We will be doing a lot of things together in the future.
COLMES: Thanks very much. We'll all be here at FOX News. I thank you for everything. And I appreciate your...
HANNITY: And thank our audience, too.
COLMES: And the 12 years we've had together. And we thank the audience.
HANNITY: Thank you.
COLMES: Thank you very, very much from the bottom of my heart, and here is Greta Van Susteren to go "On the Record."
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