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Reality Check: Audrina's Blog Saves 'The Hills' but Probably Ruins Her Friendship

The friendship between Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad has stood many tests. It’s survived Audrina’s friendship with Heidi Montag, her rift with Lo Bosworth, Lauren’s hatred for basically everything Audrina likes (including JustinBobby) and, after this week’s episode, even the world’s craziest rumor. But can they survive Audrina’s latest blog post?

The not-so-bright brunette hit the web Tuesday to “clear the air” writing that she didn’t tell the town that Lauren had slept with her boyfriend but rather confided in Heidi (same thing) because “she knows how Lauren works and when Lauren hung up on me and was acting like a child, I obviously thought the worst.”

Reminding everyone that “this rumor didn’t appear out of thin air” Audrina goes on to explain “Justin and Lauren treating me like I wasn't worthy of an explanation was almost worse than the rumor itself.”

“Dealing with a situation such as this one, where the two people who you really need to talk to are the very same two who turn their backs on you and treat you like you mean nothing, has really opened my eyes,” she adds. “So if something bothers you, keep your mouth shut and smile, or you will end up apologizing later. :)”

Anyone else see the irony here? I’m guessing Audrina’s days of apologizing aren’t over yet – especially since she posted that after she and Lauren had made up. Considering how Audrina goes about “resolving things” and “clearing the air,” I’d hate to see her pick a fight.

More importantly, I wonder: Why are her versions of things always so different from everyone else’s or what we see on the show? Remember her account of the night before their Vegas trip when she snubbed Lauren, or her twisted recap of the “we’ll never be friends” conversation with Lo?

In this week’s episode we got to hear Audrina’s description of the “scream fest” where Lauren “yelled” at her until Audrina “finally just gave up and let her say whatever she wanted.”

Of course she failed to mention that Lauren was yelling, because it was the only way Audrina could HEAR her in the booming nightclub they astutely picked for their private discussion. And at what point did Audrina “give up” and let Lauren go off, because I saw the scene about ten times and that part doesn’t ring a bell?

How ever it is that last week’s talk played out in Audrina’s head it didn’t stop her from giving Lauren a tearful apology this week, complete with an “I’ve lost who I am” sobfest that made me wonder if I’d accidentally switched on the Britney documentary.

If what she writes is true Audrina had plenty of opportunities to say her piece directly to Lauren instead of using her fact time to muttered on about Heidi or how she “doesn’t know who she is anymore.” Let me help you here Audrina, you’re a child.

Kind of like Stephanie and Spencer Pratt who’ve taken their feud to new levels of idiocy by resorting to fighting over the attention of their 84-year-old grandmother. This woman lived through the Great Depression, WWII, 80s fashion and God knows what else, and now she has listen to her ignorant, dbag, yet adult, grandkids talk about how “Spencer’s mean to me” and “Stephanie’s friend’s with a girl who said bad things about Heidi.” Can someone PLEASE put gum in both of their hair?

Instead, Nana just spews some crap about she wishes she had a big brother growing up that was protective of her. I bet Stephanie did too, Nana, but she got stuck with Spencer instead.

Eventually Stephanie gets Nana alone and tries to explain that Spencer wouldn’t be her “favorite” if she knew more about him. And, instead of adhering to Grandmother code and spitting out some line about how she loves them both, Nana all but confirms that she’d throw Steph under the bus for Spence in a heartbeat, then mutters something about life being “a bucket of worms.” What happened to a box of chocolates?

In the end we didn’t learn much from wise Nana but we did learn this: The Hills desperately needs some new storylines…or maybe few more strokes from Audrina’s keyboard.