By now you've heard about the reception that took place Tuesday in Beverly Hills, netting Obama $50 trillion in cash, a celebrity-pimpled event marred by a live performance by walking gasbag Barbra Streisand.
But while this was going on, another star was left languishing — Lindsay Lohan.
Allegedly, Lilo really wanted to help Obama, offering to host events to attract people who still think she matters (i.e. 70-year-old men in overcoats). Shamefully, Barack ignored her, implying she's not the kind of celebrity they want linked to their glorious mission.
Now, if this isn't a pure example of intolerance, I don't know what is. Sure, Lohan is a tad unstable, often losing her thong, hitting parked cars for fun and always claiming the drugs the cops find afterwards aren't hers. And then there's the fact that she's a temporary lesbian, dating some creature in a hat — a hobby that'll end once the Sapphic set sicken of her mindless antics.
The clincher? She's freckled. I mean, if you look at all of Obama's supporters, there's not a freckled freak among them and I wonder why. For what is a heavily-freckled person, really, but a random mixture of black and white or maybe red — a perfect emblem of a colorblind society?
Add to this, the fact that when Lohan has been busted with drugs in the past, she's blamed it on the nearest black guy. For that reason alone, I wouldn't let her near Obama.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.