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Reality Check: They're Real and They're Spectacular

It’s always fascinating to watch people on TV do something you’ve never seen done in real life. And the seemingly supernatural characters that comprise the new cast of "So You Think You Can Dance" give us just that opportunity.

Even in the age of reality TV, it's rare to find as many freaks of nature in one show as there are in the season four audition pool. Between the headspins, handstands, tricks and antics, you have to ask yourself, “Are these people for real?” The beauty of it is they actually are.

First, we have Devin. A girl who seemed incapable of even speaking at the start of her audition, awkwardly standing frozen for about 30 seconds until Nigel figured out they were playing the wrong song. It would have made way more sense and saved everyone some time and discomfort to just speak up from the start, but then we probably wouldn’t have been as shell-shocked when she finally did start her routine.

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Like Clark Kent through a revolving door, this shy, pink-haired mute transformed into a contemporary dancer so confident and in-your-face she was more attention-grabbing than Judge Mary’s shrieking voice. The highlight was definitely when she brought one foot practically to her ear while spinning so fast she made me dizzy. Devin is straight through to Vegas.

There was no trouble with Jonathan’s music, but there was apparently something wrong with his clothes, as he decided to start removing it all piece by piece throughout his audition.

Judge Mia Michaels must have subconsciously enjoyed the view, slipping in that this eyebrow-waxed, chest-shaven Italian wouldn’t be “sexful,” er, successful, in America.

She also put him through to the next round. But despite his interesting ability to put women’s minds in the gutter and twist his body in ways that would make Gumby jealous, Jonathan’s moves weren’t enough to get him to Vegas.

Also getting the naked memo was Rijiy — Russian for redhead — Ames. It takes cojones to dance on national television in tighty-whities, and Rijiy proved that he’s definitely got some when his actually slipped out for a special appearance at one point (covered by the "So You Think You Can Dance" logo, of course).

Lest you be confused by his wardrobe choice (or malfunction), Rijiy says it was his way of showing he’s a “clean slate” the show can “mold and create.” Confused, Nigel made it clear that he had absolutely no desire to mold or create Rijiy. Mia, on the other hand, kind of “gets” the point he was trying to make. Note: If you want to get on Mia’s good side, strip.

Luckily, “Sex” kept all of his clothes on. Back for his third unsuccessful audition, Sex, whose name hardly represents his image, gave his Mom props for still supporting him, saying she’s his number one fan … you don’t say!

When asked why he came back for more, however, Sex could only answer with a long, drawn-out silence. Maybe he was taking notes from Devin, but unlike Devin, nothing he did on that stage even resembled dancing.

Still, to all those haters out there, Sex wants it noted he’s had “many years of extensive training” with “master choreographers,” and more importantly, that his fans think he is very sexy. And who was that number one fan again? Gross.

Like Sex, Twitch, Philip and Erica G. also returned from past seasons, with one glaring difference: they actually have talent. Twitch’s pop-n-lock skills are paralleled only by his ability to inspire hip-hop speak from middle-aged women — Mary calling the performance “stupid” good and Mia giving it her “stank face.”

Also a pop-n-locker, Phillip stands well above the crowd with his ability to put his arms in positions that arms should never go in.

And despite her inability to shut up and let the judges speak, with her strength and freakish flexibility, Erica deservedly made it to Vegas for the third time.

Still, none of these three managed to come anywhere near Victor Kim’s skill. This kid is funny, likeable, can walk downstairs with his hands and basically defies the laws of physics with everything else he can do with his body.

What he can’t do, however, is learn a contemporary routine, as he got the boot after the choreography round. I’m officially in mourning and think the judges are insane. If Cedric deserved a shot at the finals last year, Victor definitely should have at least made it to the Vegas round this year.

I’ll just hope Victor comes back in '09. For 30 other L.A. contestants, it’s onto Vegas, and for the judges, the freak search continues in Salt Lake City.