While there is some debate as to how "real" MTV’s “The Hills” really is, its star Lauren Conrad was served a severe mouthful on Monday night that definitely wasn’t scripted.

LC was leaving the opening of Hollywood hotspot Crown when a random guy (we’re told he was denied entry into the exclusive bash where the likes of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and the Madden boys were also hanging out) decided to take his anger out on the small-screen starlet.

Conrad appeared flustered and fearful as the guy hurled four-letter words at her, forcing her to flee into the closest cab.

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The lurking paparazzi caught the outburst, but the “action” that came later was far more gruesome.

According to our inside source, one of LC’s guy pals went inside, brought out a bunch of his big, buff boys and beat up the intoxicated foul-mouth.

“The guy was so drunk he couldn’t fight back — they bloodied him a bit then went back in,” our eyewitness said. “He was so out of it he beat his head against a phone pole for a few minutes after they’d gone — there was blood everywhere.”

Kim Kardashian Undergoes Cellulite Treatment

There seems to be some sort of strange obsession with “dimples” in Tinseltown at the moment, as everyone from Britney Spears to Mischa Barton (and now Kim Kardashian) is busy fighting the condition.

Despite having a hot Hollywood body, former sex-tape starlet Kardashian is reportedly set to reveal a lot more of herself to the world.

In an episode of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" set to air May 11, our spies say Kim will open up about her body-image issues, and she and her sisters Khloe and Kourtney will undergo cellulite treatment.

We've also been told that since the show's taping, Kim has continued the treatments.

Hmmm, we wonder if Paris' "cottage cheese" description of Kimmy’s behind has anything to do with her sudden dire need for change. ...

Stella Wants to Stitch Scarlett

This week has been abuzz with the announcement of Scarlett Johansson’s engagement to Ryan Reynolds, and preparations are already being made for the Hollywood hottie to go underneath the needle.

Designer Stella McCartney told People magazine on Tuesday night that she’s “definitely” doing Johansson’s wedding dress — only the “Match Point” princess hasn’t been notified yet. But according to an insider, Stella will have to wage war on Marc Jacobs for the top job.

“Marc will do whatever he has to do to design for Scarlett,” the source said. “They’re like best friends; he’d be devastated if she went elsewhere.”

Johansson has long been considered a “muse” for the famed fashionista, appearing in several Louis Vuitton shows and campaigns designed by Jacobs.

Smear Pop Stars on Your Pop Tarts

Pop-Tarts — not us, the breakfast — is giving us all the opportunity to smear some “American Idol” over our pastry puffs.

The reality crooners will hit the road again this year with their Live! Tour presented by Pop-Tarts, the good times kicking off in Glendale, Ariz., and concluding in Tulsa, Okla., on Sept. 13.

Fans of all things pop can log onto Poptarts.com as of May 13 and obtain a secret password that will enable them to buy up to eight tickets before they become available to the general public.

Vote for Butts

What the?

Yes, that’s exactly what we thought. In an attempt to alleviate primary fatigue but keep the "voting" spirit alive, Stockroom.com has been providing us all with the, er, "cheeky" chance to vote for America's Favorite Butt.

The site was bombarded with butt pictures from both males and females, and has chosen a select few to compete for the prestigious title, although they are still accepting submissions.

The winner, to be named Thursday, will be "slapped" with gift certificates.

Spotted or Snapped a Star? Got a Good Scoop? E-mail poptartstips@gmail.com.