In this weekly series, FNC Legal Analyst Lis Wiehl offers solutions to the tough problems single gals face.
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Ah, the month of February brings Valentine's Day — in my opinion this is the ultimate single ladies' day. No, not because if you're a single lady, this day is a reminder that (at the moment) you don't have that special someone to go to dinner with, or receive flowers from, or gush about to your co-workers. And no, not because if you don't have that special someone (again, I emphasize at the moment) that it's a day to call all your girlfriends and order Chinese and chat about being single. It's the ultimate single ladies' day because it provides an opportunity to realize that you have complete control over your life and you don't need a man or partner by your side. This is not about being a about man hater — it's just a good ol' reminder of what we do have.
I've cobbled together a few categories of men, representing an array of guys I've encountered lately and their views of women and Valentine's Day. Bear with me, I think you'll find these stories very entertaining and hopefully, by the end of the column, find this day empowering.
First Man: The man who likes to boycott Valentine's Day. This category of men view V-day as more of a “D-day.” To this charming group, the notion of Valentine's Day makes these men wish they were colorblind in order to avoid the dizzying array of reds and pink that symbolize this dreaded holiday. Marc Rudov, my weekly sparring partner on Neil Cavuto's “Your World,” brands this special day as one in which self-absorbed women use “sex as a weapon” and feel they're entitled to receive stuffed animals and long stem roses while men continue to live in fear. Why fear? No man wants to end up “in the dog house,” a very lonely house where there's no love and certainly no sex.
Basically, these bitter men view V-Day as “an annual tribute to legal prostitution” almost like a bartering system which women receive gifts, meals and vacations in exchange for “getting some.” I don't know who these men have been hanging out with, but the women I know are as excited about getting their men some cute underwear as they are about what they may receive themselves. Ladies, please stay far away from this type of man. Being taken to dinner and a movie and later getting a little lucky with the one you love is not prostitution, at least not according to any of the legal texts I've consulted. Cupid clearly missed the arrow on this man. Thank goodness we aren't involved with this one. And if you are, you deserve better!
Second Man: The man who hasn't given up on true love: Meet the “hopeless romantic.” There probably isn't a woman among us who hasn't met this guy. This is the man that “no matter how strenuous the job, this guy doesn't miss any opportunity to shout to women passing by in an attempt to find true love. Just look at Lonnie Barbierri, a New York City construction worker. Any woman who has ever walked by Mr. Barbierri's construction site or car while crossing the street knows that underneath the soft body and tattooed exterior there is a teddy bear waiting for the right girl. After all, it's every girls' dream to hear the words, “Yo, baby, want a piece of this?” when hustling to work in the morning. What's most impressive about this second category, this guy doesn't discriminate on color, race or looks and appreciates every single female. “I don't care if she's a triple bagger — everyone deserves a compliment now and then,” Barbierri said. Although some may consider it sexual harassment, this guy is trying to keep the lines of dialogue open with his unwelcoming attention. Ugh. I'll repeat what I said about the first category of men, cupid clearly missed the arrow on this one.
Please Note: If you do find yourself in a more serious situation encountering sexual harassment and not just a daily barrage of sidewalk comments, you should be aware that harassment is a form of sexual discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. If often applies at work and any unwelcome sexual advances and requests for sexual favors or implicitly affects your work performance generally qualifies under this umbrella. Prevention is the best tool so if you find yourself in this situation, please take necessary steps to communicate with co-workers and participate in training against this behavior.
Third Man: The appreciative man. Finally. Believe it or not, he's out there. Ladies, we should all strive to be with this type of man — the one that makes us appreciate life and who appreciates us. It almost feels illegal (as opposed to the other two winners) to imagine the one-woman guy that can communicate his feelings, watches “27 Dresses” without complaining (of course, out of fairness, the next movie is “Rambo”) and brings you your favorite colored roses out of the blue. Ladies, no need to settle for less than the best. In the words of Scarlett Johansson, "It's important to not lose who you are just because it's nice to cuddle with somebody.”
Although some of these “alone” moments can be tough — especially on these contrived “hallmark holidays,” over the years I have come to realize that as long as I'm myself and keep working hard, everything else will fall into place.
Bottom Line: For all the single ladies without a Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, don't waste your singleness. There's no shame in being alone on Valentine's Day or any other day. Why should couples get all the fun and attention? Don't torture yourself on this day just because you're single. And, if the blinding array of red and pink flowers are starting to make you sick, don't worry… St. Patty's Day is just around the corner!
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Lis Wiehl joined FOX News Channel as a legal analyst in October 2001. To read the rest of Lis's bio, click here.