The other day I was working out at my favorite gym, Guy-Ceps, doing reverse donkey curls using nothing but the body weight of my partner Pierre, who I met at a Port Authority restroom last week.
Suddenly, the manager approached. He said shirts and shorts must be worn at all times and the fact that I was wearing neither posed "a problem."
I explained to him that throughout history, the human body has been considered a form of art and by forcing me to put on clothing, he was silencing art. I was going to stage a protest, but Pierre needed a ride home.
But really, my argument was no different than that of the Equinox club in Boston, which ran an ad depicting nuns sketching a naked man. When two Catholic organizations blasted the photo as offensive, the club claimed their ad was simply using the naked body as art.
Truth is, there's no easier target than Christianity. We huff and puff, but we don't behead. If Equinox really wanted to be brave, the nuns should have been in burkas and the naked man a certain prophet of Islamic origin.
Of course, a price would be paid for that cleverness. You could ask Theo Van Gogh, but he's dead.
And if you disagree with me, you're worse than Hitler.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 9-10PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.