Breasts: New Weapons in War on Terror

Recently, a female Israeli soldier fled jail by using the most effective stun gun known to man: her breasts.

When arrested over drugs, she simply removed her shirt. The officer became confused and she made a clean — if bouncy — getaway.

Meanwhile, in Malaysia, a cleric claims Muslim men are losing sleep due to sexy clothes. Younger women, he fears, are getting rid of their long, ugly dresses and wearing body hugging skirts, jeans and tight T-shirts. This is making Muslim men tired and cranky.

Welcome to our world.

Western men have been lying awake in bed for years, a consequence of the constant barrage of thongs, lacy bras, hip-huggers, hot pants, midriff baring-tees, chaps and Craftsmen tool belts.

And here we come to the real truth: To undermine a fundamentalist regime, you need under-wire. Once men see real live breasts, they'll realize that by blowing oneself up, you cheat yourself of seeing more. If we simply send a fleet of Hooters waitresses, Playboy bunnies and Scores Strippers to Iraq, the war would be over faster than you can say "$10 lap dance."

They are $10 right? That's how much I get paid anyway.

And that's my gut feeling!

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to:

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld