Paris Hilton’s journey to Rwanda has been put on the backburner, so the party princess has turned her post-prison focus to supporting our troops.

Pop Tarts almost didn’t recognize the “Simple” star as she marched her way on Wednesday night into Las Vegas hotspot LAX in an Army-inspired mini and cap, which she wore as a sign of fondness for our soldiers.

When the wild woman got groovin' on the VIP podium, our spies snitched that Paris "accidentally" paraded her cute camouflage-colored panties, which matched her mini … but hey, we are proud that this particular partier was actually wearing them!

Feeling glamorous and generous, the Halloween heiress decided that she should also show her support to the stars of the sea.

Slipping into a striped sailor suit some minutes later, the former jailbird had “Jail Bait” sequined onto her behind and made Sin City even more spooktacular by singing a bunch of her songs.

However, our hotel hottie was sent her "marching" orders in the wee hours when she suddenly disappeared from the dance floor … reappearing over at a table alongside magic man Criss Angel. The pap-popular pair was popped talking and touching in very close contact.

Meanwhile, everyone in Hollywood was getting their claws out to get into Heidi Klum’s kooky party at The Green Door, which was also the Halloween home of Nicky Hilton, Luke Wilson and Quentin Tarantino. The Seal-free supermodel was almost incognito as a kitty cat, and met her match when a pop princess dressed as a pink panther popped by.

Amid posing for pics with party pals, Heidi suddenly stopped to chat to her fellow cat Britney Spears, as Pop Tarts reported on Thursday. Perhaps our Brit doesn’t have such a hard deal after all — while she was able to meow and move on the dance floor, Kevin Federline was stuck at home with the kids.

Across the country, Bette Midler hosted her usual boo-bender in the Big Apple, with the proceeds from partiers like Donald Trump’s “Pageant Place” princesses and Mariah Carey going toward her New York Restoration Project.

“Well you know it's a party, it's a benefit, but it’s really a party,” Midler told FOX. “And the thing that separates us from the other organizations that do this kind of thing is that we only sell trees ... it's a lot of fun ... we put the trees in the ground and we also put a piece of money aside so the trees will be taken care of."

But without a doubt, the winner of this year’s Pop Tarts costume contest was still-not-admitting-she's pregnant Christina Aguilera. The “Dirrty” diva donned a frighteningly big ‘fro as she made her way into Hollywood hotspot Hyde.

Ashlee Down the Aisle: Simpson Engaged?

While Jessica Simpson has been there and done that, is Ashlee Simpson now ready to go from baby sister to bride?

According to a Pop Tarts spy who recently attended a rendezvous at Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel for GQ magazine, Simpson was boasting some extra bling.

"Ashlee was very clever in wearing a big diamond on her left hand," our spy said. "But she was absolutely glowing. Friends kept coming up to her and deliberately looking at the ring before hugging and congratulating her. There was definitely something very special going on."

And even though her fiance/boyfriend Pete Wentz sat with sissy Jessica at the table beside Ashlee's, the crooning couple couldn't keep their eyes off each other.

"Ashlee is pretty convinced Pete is the one," a Simpson pal told Pop Tarts. "I am sure she is ready to move into the next stage of the relationship as soon as the time is right."

Simpson's rep could not be reached for comment.

But here is our not-so original tip for the twosome: If you want the relationship to last, please don't offer to be the stars of a new "Newlyweds" show.

Scared Stars: Dane Cook Petrified of Private Parts, Hartnett Horrified by Reality and Blair Underwood Bothered by His Own Wife

They may be superstars of the screen, but that doesn’t mean these movie men are immune to fears and phobias. And in the lead up to Halloween, Hollywood’s hottest confessed to Pop Tarts what it is that really petrifies them.

Dane Cook may have spent months getting very hot and heavy with Jessica Alba on the set of “Good Luck Chuck," but something about private parts still scares him.

“I'm scared of when you go to the party and there is that person dressed as a giant penis, walking around me. That really terrifies me. That is unnecessary,” the comedian said. “They make it with basketballs. So, I'm pleading with you, please if you’re thinking about being a giant penis this year, just skip the holiday, thank you.”

But that’s not all the Boston-born boy is bothered by — beautiful ladies also send him sweating.

“I also get scared tornados, people trying to murder me, actual zombies, I’m not like talking about movie zombies, I’m talking about real zombies, that scares me,” Cook added. “And if I go on a blind date with a really, really pretty woman, then I’m pretty scared.”

Meanwhile, his “Dan in Real Life” co-star Steve Carell may have chosen a career in the limelight, but he is terrified to talk about it — seriously.

“I think doing interviews are the scariest things ever because you just don't know what someone is going to say or going to do,” he told us. “You could lash out right now and bite my face and I would have no way of guarding myself.”

On a more serious note, “Dukes of Hazzard” funnyman John Schneider is scared of more than just spooks that emerge at the end of October.

“Trick or treating is a worry. Every parent needs to watch their children like hawks; this is the time when pedophiles really come out,” he told us.

And even though Josh Harnett is significantly skilled at slaughtering vampires after his experience in “30 Days of Night," the Hollywood hottie would rather remain in “reel” life as he is horrified by “real life."

“You know what nothing, nothing in horror. The news scares me. Real life scares me.,” Hartnett told Pop Tarts. “But you know horror movies, I've loved them since I was a little kid and I’ve always loved monsters and stuff, so ... Halloween is my favorite time of year.”

Speaking of scary screen stars, not even four “Saw” films can cure the cast from having the creeps.

It turns out that Scott Patterson is terrified of “tax bills” while Lyriq Bent fears “flying” and is “freaked out” by the thought of not seeing himself on screen.

“I often say that one thing that really throws me into a head spin is not doing what I do for a living, which is acting,” he added. “The thought of something telling me 'Lyriq, you know you can't be doing this any more.' That kind of freaks me out.”

But what Blair Underwood is most afraid of is certainly the scariest of all:

“What scares me is what my wife will ask me to wear for Halloween," he said.

Britney Bums With Pop Tarts, Tugs On Heidi Klum's Rear End

There was only one place to party on Halloween, and that was Heidi Klum's 8th annual Spooky celebration at the Green Door. And Britney Spears, of course, had to be in on the action.

The mad-hatter mama brought out her catty side at the supermodel's costume party on Wednesday night, sporting her signature sunglasses and wearing a midriff- and chest cavity-baring pink leopard costume and fishnets.

Click here to see Britney's costume and scroll down to see Heidi's costume

Brit bummed with Pop Tarts at the packed party, telling us how much she loves to "dress up." But in true Spears fashion, the pop princess peeved the paps by popping through the back door into her banged-up Benz, but not before hugging the hot Heidi and fondling her cute cat's tail and bottom half. ...

And if Britney's life isn't "Crazy" enough, her so-called friends are telling the tabloids stories about the songstress.

Brit's pal Sam Lufti told OK! magazine earlier this week that the notion that Spears is a drug/alcohol addict is a load of BS.

"I said five months ago that she doesn't do drugs and now the judge is saying it," Lufti said, also adding that rumors suggesting the Britster wants to romp back into a relationship with ex-hubby Kevin Federline are a load of lies.

But to the contrary, former assistant Katie Machado (who spent three months by Spears' side) has told Us Weekly magazine that the ding-a-ling diva is desperate to win back her bygone beau and even hung her wedding dress in her Malibu mansion just to ogle and play with it.

"She wanted so badly to have the father of her babies," said Machado. "When Britney thought about Kevin not wanting her, she would bawl."

Hmm ... last we heard was that Brit booted Katie early this year, so we question how up-to-date her story really is. ...

'Virtual' Angelina Gets Naked (or Close to It) ... but Who Made Her Cry in Public?

Angelina Jolie may be the victim of rumors suggesting she’s in a ruptured relationship with beau Brad Pitt, but personal problems weren’t the reason the screen siren was spotted trying to mask her sobs on Tuesday evening.

Both Angie and Meg Ryan stepped out for the 18th annual International Women’s Media Foundation Courage in Journalism Awards to support women in war zones whose writings put them in the line of fire.

"These are extraordinary individuals that most of us can’t understand," Jolie said. "These ladies are the unsung heroes — every day they put their lives in danger just to get the information out … these woman define everything that is extraordinary."

Video: Click here to watch Jolie and Ryan supporting the women of the war

While the humanitarian hottie had a porcelain poker face on the carpet, Pop Tarts witnessed a rare ruffle of remorse once she was inside the ceremony.

Listening to the honorees recall the danger and distress each day brings in places like Iraq and Ethiopia, Jolie was overwhelmed with emotion and quickly used her napkin to blot away the tear-smudged mascara before anyone could get a snap of the star looking anything less than "Lara Croft" lush.

These daredevil ladies also had "Sleepless in Seattle" sensation Meg Ryan at a loss for words.

"When you hear the human side of a story in these places, of someone having to identify their deceased nephew from a female point of view, someone putting their life at risk … I just think 'How can that be?'" Meg said. "I ... I don’t know what to say. It’s hard to really understand."

Something else Pop Tarts is struggling to understand is whether the near-naked Jolie in the virtual movie "Beowulf" (which premieres next week) will be able to match her real-life magic.

While the film is fully computer-generated, the sight of a stripped-down "Mrs. Smith" will undoubtedly generate many male (and some female) hormones regardless.

"Jolie symbolizes everything that's gold and glorious. She has these scintillating gold shaders moving up and down her body, which we were able to reproduce for the game, too. So it's quite sexy," said Gabrielle Shrager, narrative designer for "Beowulf."

Kevin Connolly's Older 'Entourage'

Pop Tarts popped "Entourage" star Kevin Connolly partying his heart away last Friday night ... and it wasn't at Hyde or Area.

On break from hitting Hollywood hotspots for his popular show, we caught Kev at SanDisk’s "Wake Up Your Phone" party boozing with a bunch of ladies who looked almost old enough to be his mother.

An eyewitness tells us that while rocking to the likes of Linkin Park, The Crystal Method and Common, one of the lovely ladies kept touching his top button. …

Pop Tarts doubts Haylie Duff remembers much about the night. Joining in with the wild patrons, the sweet singing star certainly made the most of her free shots.

Hanson Brothers Back On the Scene

It has been 10 years since Isaac, Taylor and Zach Hanson "MMMbopped" their bodies and trademark long locks into music mania, and despite keeping a low profile over recent years, the brotherhood boy band is all grown up and doing the party rounds.

Pop Tarts caught up with Taylor and Zach (older bro, Isaac, is still at home recovering from recent surgery) at the premiere of the documentary "Darfur," which exposes the genocide taking place in Sudan.

Despite the serious topic and the fact that Tay is married and Zach is engaged, the boys made the most of the free food and the opportunity to chat with Jessica Biel and Thandie Newton, who also came out to build awareness of these acts of inhumanity.

But upon hearing word that another party was happening to launch "The Simpsons" video game with EA at Universal Studios, the boys bounded away. Pop Tarts later busted the bros boogying well into the night alongside another bunch of Hollywood hotties, including Shar Jackson and Lauren Storm.

Hefner's Heated Halloween: Holly Gives Him the 'Horns'

While there was no shortage of bare bottoms, body-painted breasts and blondes at Hugh Hefner's haunted house over the weekend, this year, blood and brunettes also made the not-so-clean cut.

“I think all the parties at the Playboy Mansion are the hottest ticket in town,” the not-so-humble Hefner told FOX Friday night on the eve of the annual event. “This just happens to be Halloween and, you know, [I'm] looking forward to a great weekend.”

The fact that an 81-year-old still manages to keep three young busty blondes by his side is a little ... spooky. But it turns out the men’s magazine mogul still is a “horny” little devil.

“Today I’m Mr. Playboy, but tomorrow I will be a little devil,” Hef said. “My costume’s fairly simple: It has a couple of horns and Holly [his girlfriend, Holly Madison] will help me to put them on. She, of course, is Jackie Ho.”

Video: Click here to watch our chat with Hef, Holly and the 'Girls'

And Hefner got a kick out of seeing his blonde beauty with brown locks.

“Well I kind of like her the way she is usually, but she looks pretty hot this way in a brunette wig and I love the bug eyes,” he said.

And were we the only ones to notice that No. 2 babe Bridget was bleeding to death and behaving like she was a bit bipolar?

“This is the best Halloween party in the world. The best haunted house, the hottest girls and the best host,” she said. “But I am a psycho prom queen so don’t mess with me.”

And despite the fact that an unusually quiet Kendra disappeared beneath a mask, she still managed to steal the show dressed as Dick Butkus in a baseball uniform.

Pop Tarts was also brave enough to enter the "real" haunted house set up "Next Door" with one of the bunnies. But when you go behind closed doors at the Playboy Mansion, some very scary things are bound to happen...

Video: Click here to see what REALLY happens in Hef's haunted house

For all you "Girls Next Door" fans, Fox is getting ready to release the last three seasons on DVD, and the girls and their guy are getting ready to romp back onto the small screen for a fourth season of centerfolds, fun times and ... marriage?

“We’re going to Monte Carlo. There’s going to be a wedding in Jamaica,” Bridget snitched. “But it’s a secret, top secret.”

And unless Hef was able to change the law of the land, Pop Tarts think he told us a little lie just to make us stay tuned.

“We’re going to Utah and we’re all getting married,” he said.

Speaking of haunted hotness, Pop Tarts spotted Paris Hilton on Saturday heading into the mansion dressed as a “cheeky” (literally) Alice in Wonderland who posed and paraded alongside Larry “Darth Vader” Birkhead.

Click here for pics

Guns & Exposes: Slash Talks Sex and Drugs; Joel Madden Rocks On Without Richie

In his new memoir, "Guns N' Roses" rocker Slash exposes the enormous extent to which he and his band buddies abused chemical substances, the laziness of lead singer Axl Rose and Slash's own inability to sleep with only one woman at a time.

Slash recalls his regular romps into sex clinics for tests due to the escalating AIDS epidemic, as his foremost fear was contracting the disease from either of the two ladies he was lovin' at the time.

"I remember spending most of my days off in and out of a variety of VD clinics ... I was dating a porno chick as well as this sweet little junkie jailbait girlfriend I had," he writes.

Saul "Slash" Hudson tells us he never intended to write a book, however, with all the rumors about his ruptured relations with Axl and their hard-partying past, he felt he needed his fans to hear honesty fresh from the horse’s mouth.

"I was reading so much s—- about us and it got to me," he told Pop Tarts while partying on Saturday night at Best Buy’s "Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock" bash. "I just had to set it straight.”

And while the days of getting down and dirty on tour don’t seem to interest Slash too much anymore, he has found a way to keep himself “rocking” from his very own rocking chair.

“It’s a perfect video game; I was so flattered when they asked me to be in it,” he told us, referring to the third “Guitar Hero” video game. “It’s exciting to be considered the Legend of Rock. I’d say Queens of the Stone Age and the Foo Fighters are pretty legendary too, and definitely Rage Against the Machine, if they stay together.”

Video: Click here to watch Slash rock the red carpet

Now for some Nicole Richie news ... even though it was just weeks ago that rocker daddy Joel Madden was almost in the bad books with his pregnant partner for hitting the nightspots of New York, it seems he was let off the leash long enough to party with Slash, the cast of “The Hills” and JC Chasez at the Best Buy bash.

“I’m busy working now to promote Good Charlotte’s new single 'Dance Floor Anthem,' but after the baby is born I have to have a fair bit of time off,” he said.

And even though his “Simple" little lady is pregnant, she isn’t granted time off from being knocked down by prying paps and tabloid talk. Richie has been quick to rebuff reports that she has been smoking while pregnant.

Copyright Conflict: Russell Crowe Wants Jay-Z to 'Pay Up'

Good thing there were no spare phones lying around the carpet at Monday’s “American Gangster” premiere.

Russell Crowe told Pop Tarts that rapper Jay-Z was so inspired by the film that he named his next album after it.

“But you know I want royalties or somethin’, I haven’t seen a cent from Jay-Z," he said.

Russ did a little rap to try and get the music mogul to roll some funds his way:

“Yo Jay-Z we need the money man, I want a check for copyright. And so does Ridley Scott [the film's director]. So pay up my man, pay up.”

Pop Tarts also spotted Mel Gibson sneaking in to watch the screening.

Vanessa Hudgens in Therapy With 'Bottom' Blues?

Disney diva Vanessa Hudgens may now be a full-fleshed — ahem, full-fledged star, thanks to the recent release of her naughty private-part-parading pics, but Pop Tarts popped the "High School Musical" siren slipping in and out of Burbank Physical Therapy on Wednesday, and this isn't the first time she's needed a rough rub this month.

According to our snitch, the screen stunner has frequented the facility a few times in recent weeks, reportedly seeking someone to work on some strained ligaments in her "lower half."

Yet despite all the drama the dancer/singer/actress has endured in recent times, another eyewitness told us that this girl is still as good as gold.

"Vanessa came in and was all smiles," said the spy. "She acknowledged everyone in the room and was very, very sweet."

And someone else who still thinks the singing siren is sensationally sweet is beau Zac Efron. Despite reports that the two slummed into Splitsville in the wake of her naked photo expose, Pop Tarts partied with the dateless dude at last Monday's 11th annual Hollywood Film Festival Gala, and while he kept his lips locked about Hudgens, he did say that she was still his same special somebody … awww.

Speaking of ruptured reports, Pop Tarts has also confirmed that Vanessa has definitely not been dumped by Disney and may still move to the music in "High School Musical 3."

"Disney is still in contract negotiations with all of the original cast members for 'High School Musical' (including Hudgens)," a Disney official said. "New negotiations are required because none of them had a contractual obligation to do the sequel. The stories suggesting that Hudgens was cut from 'HSM3' because of the photo scandal are completely false. Disney didn't (and doesn't) have any plans to cut her because of that."

Perhaps Disney realizes that in "high school," it's somewhat normal for girls to act up a little.

"In today's society with MySpace, Facebook, 'Girls Gone Wild,' etc., it has become more acceptable to share the most intimate parts of yourself with a global audience, through the Internet, without the inhibitions that once were commonplace," said Sloane Veshinski, a certified family therapist who has not personally treated Hudgens.

"Some of the reasons young women feel the need to share their most personal attributes may be as a result of a need for immediate gratification, a lack of self-worth and the need to be loved and gain attention from the opposite sex, a level of short-sightedness specific to when the pictures will re-emerge (think Miss Nevada Katie Rees), poor impulse control and a rebellion against their parents, school or social circle," she said.

Kooky Klum Makes Us Wonder if Oprah Winfrey Is a Witch …

From "Very Sexy" to "Very Spooky," it seems Heidi Klum has finally figured out why Oprah Winfrey is the world's most successful television talk show host.

The leggy lingerie lass taped a segment with the small-screen queen last month where she revealed the risqué details of her romps with hubby, Seal, and how they fell in love over Lycra.

"The first time I saw him he was in bike shorts and I saw everything, literally the whole package," she said. "And I was like wow — now that is a man."

'Bees' Busted: Renee Zellweger and Jerry Seinfeld Play-Date

While their cute characters get cozy in the new film "The Bee Movie," is it possible that Renee Zellweger and Jerry Seinfeld were doing a little dating even when their voices weren't rolling?

"Play dates, when I think of this film I just think of having play dates with Jerry Seinfeld," Zellweger told FOX on the carpet of Sunday's "buzzing" premiere. "It really was just a matter of going in and being creative for a couple of hours over the course of three years. It was fantastic."

But while the "Bridget Jones" star is still star-struck by Seinfeld, the funnyman himself is more smitten with ... colors.

"I love the colors in this film," Seinfeld said. "And audiences are going to love laughing and just seeing the amazing colors and the world that we created that you go inside a beehive and see how bees live and it's just a lot of fun and it's a comedy movie from beginning to end."

Speaking of Zellweger, we were definitely a little surprised by her new hairstyle (or lack thereof).

Click here for a pic

Paris Smells Better Than a Parisian Prostitute

Paris Hilton and Heidi Klum may be among the hottest in Hollywood, but when it comes to working hard to promote their brand names, these Barbie-like babes are more than just "blondes."

From perennial partygirl to perfume professional, Paris gave Pop Tarts a peek at her "provocative" fragrance fresh from France.

And while the name, Can Can, was inspired by the moves of the "Moulin Rouge" (which was originally a party palace of Parisian prostitutes), the sweet smell of this particular Paris is more nice than it is naughty, especially because a portion of proceeds will benefit the Los Angeles Children's Hospital.

"I love fragrances — this is my fifth fragrance now," the hotel heiress told us on Saturday at the launch of her new scent at hip clothing store Kitson on Robertson Boulevard in L.A. "As women, I think it's great just to smell nice. It feels good when people always are complimenting me, and I believe smell is a very signature thing — it is something you're going to remember somebody by."

Video: click here to watch

And even though she learned the cheeky panty-peeking Can Can for the promo video, Paris would prefer you stayed covered from top to toe — in her clothes.

"I love creating, I love doing fashion and my clothing line is doing really well and it's totally my style," she said. "I have a shoe line launching in the next month, so it's cool, because my style always changes."

But despite Hilton's difficult year, this gal has proven again that she "Can Can" do whatever she puts her mind toward — and that includes getting rhythmical for the rock opera "Repo!" which she just finished filming in Canada.

"I'm happy to be home, but I had so much fun," she said. "It was a really fun experience, but already I really miss the cast and crew. They were all amazing."

And even though Coco Chanel once said that a woman should spray her scent all over and everywhere she wants to be kissed, Paris has a much more "Simple" solution.

"I prefer just to dab some on the neck — that's the sweetest spot," she said.

But things weren't so sweet for the scented star after leaving the launch, when a not-so-smart snapper smacked into her Escalade as he "forgot" he had put his car in reverse.

Luckily, Paris wasn't driving and no one was hurt, but it just proves that along with fragrance and fame come endless paparazzi pain.

But before Pop Tarts partied with Paris and her Parisian perfume, we saw Klum promoting her new products at Victoria's Secret on Friday.

"Every woman needs some of this in their purse because it is so super sexy," said the smiling supermodel while showing us her signature Very Sexy makeup collection. "I wanted to create a palette that you could use all day and all night, and something that was very easy to apply. I particularly love the pink. People think pink is too 'Barbie,' but it is so soft on the eye."

Video: Heidi's Tricks for Being Hollywood Hot

And the sensationally slim Klum still feels beyond "beautiful" despite the fact she has "plumped" up a little since the launch.

"I called the range Beautiful because all the little plump pigments within the products really enhance and bring out the best in you," she said. "I am giving makeup lessons and mini-makeovers to women this afternoon, to make them feel more beautiful. There are so many little tricks I have."

And while the leggy lingerie lass exposed her lips rather than hips in a duet for Seal's upcoming album, she is now making her man return the favor.

"Singing was so intimidating but a fun two days," Klum said. "I don't know if we will swap careers just yet. Seal may do some lingerie modeling … well, he does it for me, anyway."

Britney Is 'Treated' with Avril

Speaking of Paris Hilton, her bygone buddy Britney Spears went out on Friday night to celebrate the reinstatement of being allowed 24 hours with her baby boys, and she boogied and bummed at Les Deux with Avril Lavigne.

"They smiled and laughed together for ages at a VIP table," said our snitch. "Avril looks like she really has a soft spot for Spears. At one stage she even topped up Britney's drink."

Hmm … but was the "Complicated" punk princess tricking or treating our ding-a-ling diva?

Something else in the strange Spears saga is the news that mama Lynne Spears has signed on to write a self-help parenting book to be released next Mother's Day.

Christian publisher Thomas Nelson has confirmed the done deal for "Pop Culture Mom: Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World." The book reportedly will have a religious element.

Denise Richards: Girls in Girdles More Important Than Going Green?

"Drop Dead Gorgeous" gal Denise Richards is battling a bitter custody case and has every reason to let her hair down, but is the actress more concerned with partying than promoting the pain our environment is facing?

Richards was booked to be a busy babe last week with duties to host the Environmental Media Awards on Wednesday night, followed by a Thursday night hosting Dr. 90210 Robert Rey's "Instant Shape" girdle launch party at Hollywood hot spot Opera.

The "Blonde and Blonder" brunette was a no-show when it came to encouraging environmental action, yet Pop Tarts popped her pushing the instant nip/tuck treat the next night alongside the likes of David Spade, Brody Jenner, Lauren Conrad and Jewel.

But the one person Richards really wanted to run rampant with was co-host Carmen Electra. Anyone would have thought that the sexy screen sirens were long-lost sisters as they sipped cocktails, conversed and whirled into the wee hours.

However, at one point Richards broke free for the ladies to actually talk about something even more significant than bad break-ups and "Baywatch."

"I use hot rollers in my hair all the time — it's my little hair secret," she told Pop Tarts. "It works well, so quick and easy."

And even though some of the star-studded crowd was whispering about Denise's no-show the night before, Pop Tarts has confirmed that she had a good excuse.

"Unfortunately, Denise couldn't make it to the Media Awards as expected," said a rep for the event. "She had to work in San Diego and due to the fires was stuck there."

Ah, apology accepted.

Exclusive: Victoria Beckham Tries to Barter Near-Nude Snaps

She might be a multimillion-dollar music mogul married to the world’s sexiest sports star, but it seems Victoria Beckham still likes to barter for a bargain, even if it means having super steamy snaps of her and her hubby on public parade.

Pop Tarts perused and partied with Posh last week at Interior Designer Kelly Hoppen’s star-studded book launch at movie/music memorabilia hotspot the Celebrity Vault, and it turns out that Mrs. Becks was so desperate to take home an original portrait of a nude Marilyn Monroe caressing roses that she even gambled to give her goodies away.

“Victoria wanted a discount on the Monroe picture, but the gallerist wouldn’t go lower,” our inside snitch said. “It was obviously really bothering her that she couldn’t cut the price, so she made an impressive offer.”

But as the British beauty (who really does have a sassy sense of humor) was leaving the event in an Escalade, she rolled down the window and made the mesmerizing offer to swap the blown-up picture of her and hubby getting hot and heavy (as featured earlier this year in W magazine) in favor of the framed “Gentleman Prefer Blondes” flame. However, two Beckhams in the buff were still no match for Monroe, and Posh was politely declined.

And in addition to being “Golden Balls,” it turns out darling David knows just how to pleasure his Posh with paint. The soccer sensation purchased the portrait privately as a surprise for his wife while she spent time on a stripper pole in England shooting the Spice Girls’ new music video.

Meanwhile, Vic decided she wanted Marilyn so badly that she would go for the full fee after all, and made repeated calls to her L.A. assistant to seal the deal.

“She was getting so mad because, of course, her assistant had to play dumb and pretend she couldn’t get hold of the owners,” our insider added.

“Victoria kept calling from the Spice set all angry and irritated as to why it was such a painful process just to purchase a ‘damn’ painting.”

Pop Tarts is predicting our porcelain Posh’s cussing will turn to kissing when David presents her with the pin-up (which was assembled in their Hoppen home on Tuesday) after she soars in from “Spice World” on Friday. And her sweet spouse has made sure the stripped ‘50s screen siren will be staring back from the center of their bedroom wall.

Biel Battles Britney for the Role of Mary 'Pap'pins

Remember back in February when Britney Spears went bananas at a prying paparazzo and bashed him with her umbrella?

Click here to see a pic.

Well, screen siren Jessica Biel bumped out of “7th Heaven” on Wednesday when she, too, decided she would snap at a snapper with her sunshade.

Pop Tarts popped Biel leaving a Santa Monica yoga studio after a sweaty session, but when the flashes stared firing, our Jessica became pretty ticked off.

Click here to view video

Hmmm … we thought yoga was supposed to make you relaxed rather than rowdy!

Perhaps Jess is just pining for her pop prince Justin Timberlake (who is touring with his tunes Down Under) because it was just weeks ago that we talked to her about the paps and she was anything but bothered.

"It's definitely difficult to deal with, but you do really have to get into a place where you feel Zen about it," she said. "You just have to know that somebody is going to be taking your picture while you're going to the laundry and picking up your dry cleaning, and you just go about your day and ignore them.

"I look at a magazine and they know more about me than I do!" she continued. "It is so funny how it really has become such a crazy, crazy world, but at the end of the day you really just have to be able to laugh through everything."

What the … ? Dane Cook Is 'Simply' a 'Simple' Star, You Know …

He may have had the luxury of lip-locking with the likes of Jessica Alba and Jessica Simpson for the lens, but "Dan in Real Life" dude Dane Cook is still just as “simple” as ever before, “you know.”

Pop Tarts caught up with the cool comedian at Wednesday’s premiere of the funny film, but we learned more about Cook’s limited and lucid language skills rather than the reel itself.

“Quite simply, this comedy has to go down in the history books, you know? Ah, how would it go down in the history books? Well, simply, I think that it’s, it’s really simple. It’s a simple equation, when people go and see this film, myself, Steve Carell, Juliette Binoche, an ensemble cast of truly some of the most talented people that you may know or not know from theater and Tony Award-winning, it’s rare that you have a moviegoing experience, I think, that has a real simplicity to it, you know, and this movie has a real simplicity and beauty to it at its core,” he told FOX.

“I don’t think that the big studios make sweet, simple movies like this anymore, so when Peter Hedges came to me and simply told me about the idea, you know, and talked about what my, you know, what I could simply inject into it, I felt like I trusted him and I simply thought that, you know, working with Steve alone would be worth the price of admission so, yeah, it’s simple.

“I think that people are going to get a, you know, I’ve seen the movie already with a crowd and just to simply hear people laughing and then, you know, you hear the sobs and, you know, laughter and tears: That’s a nice, kinda simple sorta ride.”

Hmmm … and it seems Dane’s dashing dialect has trespassed onto the tongue of “Dan” co-star Carell.

“This movie is gonna go down in history as the most fantastic cinematic event ever,” he agreed. “I think it’s a good movie. I really enjoyed making it. I saw it a couple of months ago for the first time with an audience. I really liked it. It made people happy. That’s good. Thank you.”

No, thank you, Mr. Carell; we learned a lot, right?

Why Won’t America Ferrera Ever Be 'Foxy'?

She may be named after our nation, but that doesn’t mean America Ferrera shares her patriotic persona with everyone.

The real-life “Betty” bared her “Ugly” side at a recent “Hot in Hollywood” concert, which raised funds and awareness for AIDS in America.

Pop Tarts excitedly popped out the microphone to engage with the Emmy-winner about this critical cause and how her star power can make a difference.

But sadly, our star-studded sights were smashed when Ferrera fled from FOX as fast as possible, leaving her publicist to apologize.

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So millions missed out on hearing their TV idol support a key cause, all because of personal political preferences.

But one publication America is happy to get hot with is Heat magazine, where she admitted that the majority of her fan mail comes from viewers who actually think her reel role is real.

“The line gets blurred,” “Ugly Betty” said. “You just have to deal with that every now and then, and be safe and be careful. I try to keep as low-key as I can."

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Poor Parents?

They may be the sexiest screen stars and the hottest humanitarians, but are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie forgetting that family comes first?

The comely couple and their ever-flourishing family of four kids have sojourned in several different states and cities over the last four months.

Brangelina and their babes have moved to and fro such places as New York, New Orleans, Los Angeles, Chicago and Prague on top of reports they are searching for Spanish stomping grounds.

But while Angie and Brad may be giving their guys and girls a global education, some say it may be doing more harm than good.

"It would appear that they are attempting to have the children fit into their lifestyle as opposed to them amending their lifestyle to meet the needs of their children," said marriage and family therapist Sloane Veshinski, who does not treat the stars.

"Young children need structure and a routine; however, the constant movement can cause an inability to form attachment bonds to those around them, form relationships with other children and establish a peer group," Veshinski said.

"The lack of consistency in routine, languages spoken and the overall changes of environment may cause them to lack a level of trust and comfort in their environment if that environment continues to change.

"The children may have difficulties in forming relationships with their peers, other than their siblings. They may, in the future, be diagnosed with issues such as attachment disorders or ADHD as their world is moving faster than they are able to process."

Veshinski adds that she thinks Brad and Angelina do a lot of good in the world, and she applauds them for adopting children. But she thinks they may not be aware of the developmental needs of their children.

"Brad and Angelina need education about what is needed for their children to develop appropriately from a developmental and psychological perspective," she said.

However, Pop Tarts has been told that it isn't just the juniors who are suffering from the leaping lifestyle. Apparently, all the unsettlement is causing ruptures in the romance between the "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" sensations.

"Brad really wants to stay put in one place permanently and focus on building their family and the charities they are engaged in," our inside source said. "But Angelina's train of thought is much different. Her career is on fire at the moment, and she wants to travel and thinks the kids will be much better off seeing so much of the world.

"The differing views on top of the pressures of being as famous as they are is definitely putting a huge strain on their relationship."

And it seems that their sensational status already is affecting their eldest son's ability to be professionally educated, as Angie apparently was forced to withdraw Maddox from his swanky French school in the Big Apple due to the "big disruptions" the couple continuously caused.

"Parents were going crazy, the paparazzi were everywhere every time either Pitt or Jolie went to collect Maddox," an eyewitness said. "It was madness. I can't see any solution other than home-schooling their children."

Britney Has 'Threesome' With K-Fed

With the wildfires blazing, Britney Spears actually has a reasonable excuse to go romping in ritzy hotel rooms rather than residing in her rental in the Malibu mountains.

The pop princess actually made good use of her bed at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Wednesday by getting up close and personal with ex-hubby Kevin Federline — but under oath it had to be a threesome.

Pop Tarts has heard that Brit and her bygone beau underwent a "very successful" co-parenting class with a pro, and our ding-a-ling diva was even on her best behavior.

On Thursday, the L.A. City Attorney dismissed hit and run charges against Spears, who struck a car last August and drove off without leaving a note, TMZ.com reported. The charge was dismissed in court after the judge was informed that Britney had settled the dispute with the car owner.

As for the other criminal charge — driving without a California license — Britney pleaded not guilty, according to TMZ. Her next appearance is set for Nov. 26. The judge ordered her to appear, but there's a hearing in her custody case set for the same day.

'Scary' Spice Girls: Sobbing, Squabbling and Stripper Poles Have Director Ready to Ditch Reunion

The Spice Girls have just wrapped filming the music video for their upcoming single "Headlines," but is too much drama putting a damper on the Girl Power?

Pop Tarts has been told that while filming the video, the songstresses were seething beneath the surface and the tension became so toxic that Ginger Spice (Geri Halliwell) had to waste time every few minutes by sitting out to do "strange spiritual stuff" like hum and meditate while Sporty (Mel C) made it clear she didn't dig the dance moves.

But to add some salt to the "Spice," the director stormed out when the diva demands got too much, threatening to leave the reformed rhythm-makers to do it all alone.

And even though she's a mama herself now, it is somewhat nice to know that Emma Bunton is still a "Baby" who (according to U.K.'s The Sun) was spotted sobbing amid the singing and squabbling.

"It certainly hasn't been an easy ride for the girls getting back together," our insider said. "They are all excited and want so badly for it to work out, but there are definitely a number of fires to put out first. There was some pretty bad blood brewing when the group split."

But it seems the girls have a new addition to the group, and this one is even skinnier than Posh.

The girl band was busted taking pole dancing classes at a seedy SoHo club in London earlier this week, and while Mel B apparently was "all into it" by taking her clothes off for the affair, the concept bothered Mrs. Becks.

"Victoria is not really into the whole pole dancing thing," our source said. "She is a respectable mother and businesswoman; I don't know that she thought stripper poles were necessary."

And despite every effort from the big wigs to make sure the Spice Girls' new track didn't trickle onto YouTube before its November release, a badly behaved insider has slipped out the single and it already is being heard across all continents.

But the reviews so far haven't been bustling, with fans feeling a little let down by the ballad co-written by Bunton and Halliwell. So let's just hope the gals can show us what we want, what we really, really want. …

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