Jennifer Lopez is pregnant, even though she hasn't admitted it yet. She also has a new album, called "Brave." Coincidence? Probably not.
The only problem is, despite performing on “Good Morning America” this week, Lopez is not selling music. The appearance should have given her a big bounce. Alas, not much as happened. “Brave” moved from No. 110 to 56 on Amazon.com, a poor showing.
And so far, it hasn’t registered on iTunes as a top downloaded album. It’s listed neither on their Top 10 downloaded albums on the front page or on the top 100 chart inside.
In fact, according to iTunes, “Brave” is in the system but not attracting any activity, even though Sony/Epic is featuring it on the front page.
You can’t help but be cynical about the Lopez pregnancy story Wednesday in US Weekly. It’s been common knowledge in the tabloid world that she’s been trying to get pregnant for years. So this may be one of the most miraculous coincidences in history, that the timing of this story, which probably got the OK from Lopez, comes one day after “Brave” is released. Lopez’s last album, “Get Right” was a huge disaster, so “Brave” was supposed to bring her back.
Let’s hope Lopez’s twins (the magazine reports she is having twins) are more original than her music. The first single from “Brave” is pretty much just a large reworking of a mid-'70s soul hit, “Do Til You’re Satisfied,” by B.T. Express.
The rest of the album is similarly concocted from pre-existing beats and samples. It’s harmless dance music, with Lopez’s strident lead vocals mixed carefully with background singers and processing. Let’s put it this way: she won’t be singing the national anthem at any ball parks any time soon.
As for the sales of “Brave,” they augur poorly for a future Lopez music career. They don’t say much either for another aging diva planning a big comeback next month, Celine Dion.
Music sales are tricky now generationally. Lopez’s audience may simply have moved on. Still, if they’re not buying “Brave” on Amazon and they’re not downloading it on iTunes, I doubt they’re getting it illegally. That’s for kids.
Get ready, because here come the bees. Tuesday, I saw Jerry Seinfeld’s CGI animated film "Bee Movie," two years in the making and subject of Cannes Film Festival hype like we haven’t seen in a long time.
And it’s a hit. Seinfeld brings just enough of his patented humor to this kids’ cartoon to score crossover interest for adults, too.
As we saw in Cannes, "Bee Movie" is full of sly jokes and guest stars. Among the famous who put in appearances are Sting, Oprah Winfrey, Larry King, Ray Liotta and even two refugees from Seinfeld’s classic TV show: Michael Richards and Patrick Warburton. Oprah plays a judge, King plays himself and Sting sends himself up for his name (as well as his yoga).
The story is about Barry the Bee, who wants more out of life than to work in the family business, i.e. Honey and Pollination.
Barry wants to see the world and be a Pollen Jock, but his best friend Adam (voiced by Matthew Broderick) shares Barry’s parents’ concerns about getting out in the real world.
But Barry breaks free, and falls in love with Vanessa (Renee Zellweger). He also commences a class-action civil suit against honey manufacturers who are profiting off of unsuspecting bees.
The gags are pretty good. Of course, there is a WASP joke and a couple about being “Bee-ish.” There is a parody of “The Graduate” as the just-matriculated Barry paddles around the family pool while his parents berate him to find himself.
One of my favorite sequences comes when Barry and pals win their honey lawsuit, and the famed plastic Honey Bear is toppled a la Saddam Hussein’s statue on the day Baghdad was invaded by U.S. troops. Not only that: Winnie the Pooh is also given his comeuppance.
My favorite line, I think, in this film, is when one character says of another: “He’s playing the species card.”
Older generations had "The Jungle Book." New audiences will have “Bee Movie” to adore when it opens at the end of this month. PS: Check out the wonderful orchestral score by Rupert Gregson-Williams. It’s worth sitting through the end credits just to hear it.
OK, just so we have it straight: Rosie O’Donnell was not fired by "The View." She misspoke at Roseanne Barr’s comic fest, and the word spread like wildfire.
What’s the difference, I suppose? Everything you want to know on this subject is offered in Rosie’s bestseller “Celebrity Detox.” The book you see is No. 14 on Amazon. It’s a hit. And quite a little read.
It was published officially on Tuesday, with a minimum of fanfare. The event was billed as an art show at the New Visions Space on West 50th St. in New York City, formerly a multiplex movie theater that has been magically transformed into something useful.
On a table at the entrance was a stack of Rosie’s books; some people got them and had them autographed. Among them: Rosie’s former “View” pal Joy Behar, as well as Cyndi Lauper and Joan Rivers. I thought I saw some other ABC types there as well. Barbara, Star and Elizabeth were far away in some other galaxy.
And there were paintings, mostly circa 2001-2002, some angry and many with bright primary colors. Some of them recall Jean-Michel Basquiat’s work. One of them, called “Mary,” depicts what looks like two adults in spacemen’s outfits getting kids ready for school. They were all very cool.
So what’s next for Rosie? She’s opening the New York Comedy Festival at Caroline’s on Broadway Nov. 6. Two weeks later, on the 19th, she hosts a fundraising gala for her Rosie’s Broadway Kids project at the Marriott Marquis. Paul Simon is the musical guest.