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The Iranian regime's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has a new plan to save the world.

On September 16, he once again called for a forum with President George Bush to take place when he visits the United Nations General Assembly in New York this week. But the Iranian president’s aspirations have grown since last year, when he simply requested a debate with Bush. Now he suggests a globally televised event in which the two would “propose our solutions to solve the world questions.” In Ahmadinejad’s vision of this spectacle, viewers around the world would then vote for their favorite answers. Before arriving in New York on Sunday, he said that he "will talk directly to the American people." He added, "This is the best chance to provide them with correct information about Iran."

Ahmadinejad must have installed a satellite dish at home, because it sounds like he’s seen a few American talent shows. Or maybe the lights in the state-run television studio in which he made the announcement were getting a little hot. Whatever the reason, his idea, announced with his trademark smugness, shows that we can expect even more incomprehensible ramblings from him at this year’s Assembly.

As grandiose as Ahmadinejad’s proposal is, it gives us an opportunity to imagine what sort of responses he would make in his “U.S. vs. Iran How-to-Save-the-World” special. Following are some “international questions,” as Ahmadinejad calls them, and his potential responses. The answers shown are actual public statements made by Ahmadinejad.

HOST OF THE U.S. vs. IRAN HOW-TO-SAVE-THE-WORLD SPECIAL: How can the world achieve a better balance of power among nations, rich and poor?
A: Iran must emerge as the most powerful, most advanced country ... We must prepare ourselves to rule the world.

Host: How can nations learn to understand and appreciate other cultures?
A: Blocking indecent and Western music from the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting is required.

HOST: What is your country’s No. 1 foreign policy agenda?
A: We don’t shy away from declaring that Islam is ready to rule the world.

HOST: What is your policy for making peace in the Middle East?
A: Israel must be wiped off the map.

HOST: What is the best way to prevent an arms race in the Middle East?
A: Are you the representative of the Zionist regime, or a journalist?

HOST: Should more Middle Eastern nations become secular democracies?
A: Religious democracy is the only path toward human prosperity and it’s the most advanced type of government that humans can ever have ... We did not have a revolution in order to have a democracy.

HOST: What do you envision as the best outcome in Iraq?
A: Soon, we will see a huge power vacuum in [Iraq]. Of course, we are prepared to fill the gap.

HOST: In Iran, anti-government protest are on the rise, the world saw your cities in flames after gas rationing was put into effect this summer, and student protestors chanted “death to the dictator” when you spoke at a university in Tehran. How should the world view these activities in Iran?
A: A small number of people who claim there is oppression are creating oppression and do not let the majority hear [my] words ... Today, the worst type of dictatorship in the world is the American dictatorship which has been clothed in human rights.

HOST: What can nations do to give more women a voice in government?
A: Women will have no place in my cabinet ... Women should work less and devote more time to their main mission of raising children.

HOST: Will you pledge not to test a nuclear weapon?
A: You are like a CIA investigator.

HOST: The Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, which both the U.S. and Iran have signed, is a tool for limiting the spread of nuclear weapons. Is this treaty still important?
A: One or two countries are refusing to accept that Iran is now mastering nuclear technology ... Some countries are racing towards hell [and] this makes us sad ... The enemies need to step aside from our path and give up their satanic ideas.

HOST: This year, the United States and Iran held talks for the first time in nearly 30 years. Should the two countries continue on this diplomatic track?
A: If you want to have good relations with the Iranian people in the future … you should bow and surrender to the might of the Iranian people. If you do not accept this, the Iranian people will force you to bow and surrender.

HOST: The U.N. is considering more sanctions for Iran to inhibit its development of a nuclear weapon. Will more sanctions be effective?
A: We advise them to ... give up stubbornness and childish games.

HOST: What is the most realistic approach for convincing Iran to comply with international law regarding its nuclear program?
A: The foes cannot do a damn thing. We do not need you at all ... You can issue as many resolutions as you like and dream on.

HOST: Before we go to our first break, what is one quality you would like to highlight about your presidential counterpart?
A: Satan inspires Mr. Bush.

Sources:

• “Ahmadinejad Wants Bush Debate, Global Referendum,” Fars News Agency, September 25, 2007
• “Ahmadinejad to elaborate Iran’s positions at UN,” Mehr News Agency, September 23, 2007
• “Ahmadinejad: People Proved Faith in Revolution in Elections,” IRNA, November 15, 2005
“Iranian’s Oratory Reflects Devotion to ’79 Revolution,” New York Times, December 20, 2005.
• “No more Western music, Iran president decrees,” MSNBC, December 15, 2005
• “Iran’s Ahmadinejad: Sharon dead and ‘others to follow suit,’” Iran Focus, January 5, 2006
• “Wipe Israel ‘off the map’ Iranian says,” International Herald Tribune, October 27, 2005
• “Iranian Leader Opens Up,” CBS News “60 Minutes,” August 13, 2006
• “Iran’s New Leader Takes Tough Line, and Then Softens,” New York Times, June 27, 2005, p. 3
• “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad,” GlobalSecurity.org
• “Ahmadinejad: Iran can fill Iraq power vacuum,” MSNBC, August 28, 2007
• “Iran students heckle Ahmadinejad,” Agence France-Presse, December 11, 2006
• “Ahmadinejad Said: Our Executive Management Blows the horn into its Large end—Women Have No Place in My Cabinet,” Entekhab, June 20, 2005
“Iranian leader calls for a baby boom to help defeat west,” Guardian, October 24, 2006
“Ahmadinejad: Iran Not Walking Toward War,” CBS News, September 23, 2007
“Iran’s nuclear foes ‘racing to hell’” Ahmadinejad, Agence France-Presse, September 9, 2007
“Glenn Beck” transcript, CNN, September 20, 2006
“Iranian Warns Against Added Nuclear Sanctions,” New York Times, June 6, 2007
“Ahmadinejad Says Enemies Will Fail to Prevent Iran Progress,” IRNA, February 5, 2006
“Iran leader in Bush ‘Satan’ claim,” BBC, October 16, 2006

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Alireza Jafarzadeh is a FOX News Channel Foreign Affairs Analyst and the author of "The Iran Threat: President Ahmadinejad and the Coming Nuclear Crisis" (Palgrave Macmillan, 2007).

Jafarzadeh has revealed Iran's terrorist network in Iraq and its terror training camps since 2003. He first disclosed the existence of the Natanz uranium enrichment facility and the Arak heavy water facility in August 2002.

Prior to becoming a contributor for FOX, and until August 2003, Jafarzadeh acted for a dozen years as the chief congressional liaison and media spokesman for the U.S. representative office of Iran's parliament in exile, the National Council of Resistance of Iran.

Alireza Jafarzadeh, the deputy director of the Washington office of the National Council of Resistance of Iran, is credited with exposing Iranian nuclear sites in Natanz and Arak in 2002, triggering International Atomic Energy Agency inspections. He is the author of "The Iran Threat" (Palgrave MacMillan: 2008). His email is Jafarzadeh@ncrius.org.