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A lot of people talk about media bias — the idea that most reporters lean left, as if they suffer from political scoliosis.

I have an alternative — some might say brilliant — theory: the mainstream media is biased, but it doesn't lean left. It leans toward any idea that "means well."

It makes sense. People need to mean well. It explains charities, floral arrangements, greeting cards signed "from all of us" and sneeze guards at the salad bar — which incidentally, never stop me because it's very easy to slip your head under them and pretend you're trying to get a closer look at the lettuce.

Now, I know what you're thinking: As an American, you have a God-given right to pristine croutons. But meaning well should not trump honesty. The press, for example, never questions homeless statistics, because just reporting them — even if they're exaggerated — means you mean well. The press rarely questions climate change science, because scientists who exaggerate only mean well.

Conversely, anyone who's skeptical of global warming just doesn't care about the planet. People who support the evil war in Iraq, certainly don't mean well — they probably touch themselves while listening to Yanni, feasting on field voles and reading about casualties.

And this is the hilarious irony: People who mean well are inherently destructive, because they'd rather "feel good," than "do good."

In order to do good, you've got to face sober facts — ones that don't make you feel good, no matter how many donut sales for needy orphans you attend in my basement.

So maybe journalists are biased. But don't blame them — they mean well.

And that's my gut feeling.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com