Thank God it's Friday! But how can you have "TGIF," if there's no "G"?
I mean: What if there was no God? Then what would you say? Thank Bob it's Friday? Thank Dick it's Friday?
It just doesn't fly.
• Holier than thou? No! Watch Greg's Greg-alogue
That's because whether you like it or not, God is here to stay. He's not going anywhere. And, He is a He. If God were a woman, we wouldn't have pornography or at least, good pornography, like Barely Legal.
Still, you can't go anywhere these days without stepping in an atheist. Atheism is the ultimate conceit: Over-educated blobs of imperfect protoplasm elevating themselves to divine status by saying that they accept their role as the universe's highest life form.
Boiled down: "There is no God, because if there were, I'd be him."
Sounds like Alec Baldwin , doesn't it?
Really, it's like a Microsoft Word program that evolves to a point where it can say, "Gates is dead." That's an atheist.
You can say natural selection is the process, but that fails to address who created natural selection, or why humans create stuff to begin with.
Human beings are unique: born with the internal questions of how and why. We could say that came from spontaneous order, but tell that to a dolphin. Last time I checked, those disgusting date-rapists haven't built a church, much less gone to one.
And that's my gut feeling.
Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld (weeknights 3-4AM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld.