Reality shows can bring up a flurry of emotions — sometimes the people I like get cut, other times the ones I hate linger on until the bitter end.
And every now and then, my wishes come true and the contestant I want to be sent home is, but it's for all the wrong reasons.
Take the latest turn of events over on "So You Think You Can Dance." Jessi, the girl who seemed to be progressing primarily because Nigel still hasn't recovered from when she doused her perfect body in oil and called it a dance routine, was finally sent packing. But the way it happened was far too brutal — even by reality show standards.
First, she confesses that she aspires to be like Judy Garland (tragic foreshadowing alert!) For before she and her stunning Russian partner Pasha can hit the stage for their cha-cha, she is taken away by an ambulance for feeling weak — thereby refuting my theory that only the super famous can get away with being hospitalized for fatigue, exhaustion, dehydration or "feeling weak."
Pasha goes ahead and does the routine with the choreographer's assistant, who happens to be Bette Midler's doppelganger, but Jessi is well enough to come back and perform the dance with Pasha on Thursday night. And she does it without missing a beat.
Because she missed Wednesday night, however, she's nevertheless forced to "dance for her life" along with those relegated to the bottom three. This, after we've heard that there's something irregular about her heart. Oh, the humanity!
And then she's informed that she simply doesn't make the cut while wearing the world's most heinous paint-splattered sweat suit, and she just stands there looking like her irregular heart has been broken and shattered all over the stage. I, for one, felt downright evil for having hoped for her elimination.
Another reality show that brought up conflicting emotions was Monday night's "Hey Paula," which covered what really went on behind the scenes when the wackiest "Idol" judge went on her satellite tour last January and acted like a nut. Was she on drugs? Possessed? Just released from the loony bin?
If we're to believe what "Hey Paula" presents us with, Abdul was simply tired from a late-night Starbucks run after a few too many sleepless nights.
But the main thing we learn — from those satellite interviews, her interactions with the people creating her perfume and an award show speech she gives — is that Paula Abdul is far more likable when she's not speaking. She's adorable when she's hugging fans, signing autographs, and drinking Starbucks, but talking simply isn't that woman's forte.
That doesn't mean I won't be watching. After all, there may even be a hospitalization for exhaustion at some point.
Anna David is a freelance writer. Her first novel, "Party Girl," is in stores now.