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Your Grrrs: Paris Hilton's Parents

Here are some of your responses to Mike's last column...

Ryan C. in Austin, Texas, writes: A Grrr column without a single Grrr? Instead, we get ANOTHER story about an idiot (Paris Hilton) whom no one really cares about. I kept reading, waiting for the real column to begin, but it never happened. If you keep this kind of garbage up you will lose readers! Next story about her and I am gone.

CJ in Hendersonville, N.C.: Mike, Of all the people in this country who have restricted licenses, she is the one person who can well afford to pay someone to drive her drunk butt around. She says she's not dumb. She should give any money she makes off this media crapfest to victims of drunk drivers. Love your column, keep up the good work.

Get the Grrr! Book

Susan in Delaware: After reading the grrrs this week, all I can say is "ouch." All that venom probably knocked you right off your elevator shoes. Jane L. and the leech comment? I wouldn't be surprised if you went home and took a shower. You are still loved and much-read in this Delaware household.

Glen B. in Shalamar, Fla.: I am not a betting man but it's hard to turn down a sure thing. With all of the goof advice that her parents are feeding her I would be willing to bet $20 ... heck make it $100 that Paris will be arrested prior to "Father's Day" 2008. Any takers! Oh, and if I lose I'll donate another $100 to Paris' favorite charity.

Roy B. writes: Years ago, it was considered an obligation of the wealthy to act as their social standing demanded and to contribute something to a society that allowed them to reach this standing. It is quite obvious that present day wealth carries none of these obligations and indeed the wealthy of today seem to consider themselves more along the lines of the ancient Romans. Give the poor a loaf of bread and then run them down with your chariot. Just remember that the Roman empire fell because the wealthy rotted away from lead poisoning caused by the trendy fashion of cooking in lead pots. Perhaps the wealthy of today will find a similar poison. We can only hope.

Kristin S. passed on this obit of Common Sense: I received this from a friend and it made me giggle — or angry depending on how much I thought about it. Have a great day!

Obituary of "Common Sense"

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain
Why the early bird gets the worm
Life isn't always fair
Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge.)

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children. It declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a Band-Aid to a
student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and
wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was
preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is
To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Jacqui S. writes: You are pretty much on the money — pun intended — on this one. There is one tiny point that you missed. No one would give a rat’s a— about Ms. Hilton had the media not made her a star. OK, she’s an heiress, so is Athina Onassis and she pretty much stays out of the press, so are thousands of young women, but because Paris Hilton plays to the cameras and paparazzi like a champ, you guys have kept her in the news and gotten her on Larry King. The best way to keep Paris at home and quiet is to stop writing about her and stop taking pictures of her. The longer you guys keep perpetuating the myth, the longer she stays in the news. She likes the attention, people … so why keep giving it to her so she can keep playing everyone for a fool? Then maybe she’ll move on, marry some rich man and turn into her mother.

Lucinda writes: The only way for Paris to prove she has really changed is a) do no more interviews till the excitement dies down b) quit the party route c) quietly go about with her plans (to build a halfway house for ex-inmates) to do something good and PROVE to us all she is different. Going off to party at Las Vegas just reinforces the public's opinion of her as a party girl and nothing else.

Pam in Livermore, Calif.: For the longest time I've not been able to stand Paris. She is the epitome of the spoiled, rich, over-indulged brats that the well-to-do in Hollywood are producing. If she would only realize how lucky and blessed she is instead of having an attitude of entitlement; if she could only spend half of her energy doing something good, what a world this could be. After this last month I've come to realize it's her PARENTS who are to blame. My mother would have had me on restriction (a word I'm sure Paris in unfamiliar with) to the point where I wouldn't see the light of day, let alone my friends, till I was out of her house!! There certainly would have been no "party planning." I agree wholeheartedly with your viewpoint and am happy to see someone else express it!!

Julie in Scottsdale, Ariz. writes: What princess Paris needs is a good spanking!!!!

Erney L. in Fla.: I'm about a third through your book. Love it. Here are a couple of mine:

- Recipes that call for one obscure ingredient. It'd be nice to have
the chef on the morning show say, "This calls for ground Croatian
whatever, but you can use oregano, and it's OK."

- Guys who sit at the weight machine and carry on a conversation with
someone else — while another person is waiting to use it. Or, the
person who's doing a lot of sets on a machine, and you ask, "Can I work
in?" and answers, "no."

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