Remember the days when you saw someone talking up a storm to themselves in a car and the only conclusion you could make was that they were stark raving MAD?

Ah yes. The days before Bluetooth. It's hard to believe that in the not so distant past humans roamed the earth without little tacky devices hanging out of their ears. But that was then.

Now they are everywhere. And they drive me crazy. Just this morning I thought I identified a crazy driver. She was laughing and chatting and apparently entertaining just herself. But of course, that was not the case. As I passed her I saw her bionic ear blinking away.

I can't get myself to go down the Bluetooth route. Not yet. Not until they can make them as small as they make other technological gizmos. I mean, REALLY...do they HAVE to be so big and gaudy? Nope. My father has hearing aids (sorry Dad, I meant hearing "amplifiers") that are so tiny they can hardly be seen even close up. My theory is that the Bluetooth crowd WANTS to be seen.

glued to your head, I do NOT understand why so many people keep them on all the time. Wearing a Bluetooth in a restaurant should be as looked down upon as baseball caps used to be. SHOW SOME RESPECT, for goodness sakes. You are eating a meal, not sitting through the company's quarterly meeting.

I saw one guy that took the cake recently. He was at his son's FIRST COMMUNION...and he STILL couldn't find it in himself to take the darned cyborg impant off. Not even for an HOUR on a Sunday in church. I bet he wears it in the shower, too. And to bed.

So I am resisting the Bluetooth onslaught. Call me old fashioned, but I would rather have a phone to my head than a metallic blue slug dripping off my ear lobes.