Late last night I was bored, and drunk, so I did what I always do when I can't find the Enlarger: I surf the Net. After looking at swan porn, I stumbled upon a test titled, "How Open-Minded Are You?"

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It was a checklist of questions like: Do you think one religion is no better than another? Do you think astrology could work? Will you try any food even if it smells? Do you think we're all bisexual?

Translation: open-minded means stupidity.

An open mind is what you hear when criteria goes down the toilet. When someone says they are open-minded, they are waving the white flag, for there is no way a human being can defend a decision, if he forfeits the framework for making one.

Yet, the media tells us that being open-minded is good! But try it in the real world.

Imagine being open-minded using power tools or pit bulls — it would only end in tears.

Worse, being open-minded is a refusal to identify evil. That's because defining morality is seen as close-minded.

I think it's time we declare a war on open-mindedness. It is a costume of fake intelligence, a way to undermine all of us who make real decisions each day.

The next time someone tells you to be open-minded, hit them. If they get angry, simply tell them they're being narrow-minded. After all, they should be open to violence, especially if it allows you to grow as an individual. Then, take their wallet.

That's my gut feeling.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld