I love looking at myself. Sometimes I spend hours in front of the mirror, just staring — wondering: How you cannot believe in God, if God created this?

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As you know, with Google Street Views, I can share that beauty with all of you, 24-7. "GSV" — as I like to call it — allows you to "virtually" walk through any city and see all. You can capture a man urinating in a bush, a woman sunbathing, or a short, fat man rushing into a peep show (it was research!)

Privacy advocates worry that this will turn our world into a police state, a la "1984." But if you're out in public, you don't own what you do — we do. So, if you scratch your butt, shoplift batteries or flash yourself to the bus driver like I did in '97, I have every right to see it. Privacy has no place in a public place.

Total surveillance is the only way to curb bad behavior. Well, aside from having morals. But that requires judgment and judgment is predicated on the ability to discriminate, and we all know that discrimination is racist.

And why should you worry? If you're doing good, being taped is no problem. Like, when I made my "student films" — those goats were treated well. It's only bad people who should fret. Thanks to surveillance, crime might disappear — because no one wants to be caught.

Of course, decent people like me might be captured in awkward situations. But I'll tell you what I told the man in the E.R.: I fell on that rake.

And that's my gut feeling.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com

Greg Gutfeld currently serves as host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) The Greg Gutfeld Show (Saturdays 10-11PM/ET) and co-host of The Five (weekdays 5-6PM/ET). He joined the network in 2007 as a contributor. Click here for more information on Greg Gutfeld