Well, we finally made it to the "American Idol" finale, where Ryan started off the show by reminding us of final "Idol" duos of the past before attempting to get Paula to say something interesting about her recent fall and nose-break.
And then, before we even had time to ponder the fact that second-place guys haven't fared so well in retrospect (I'm talking to you, Justin Guarini and Bo Bice), Paula sputtered an answer and we were left to wonder if that bump on the nose somehow knocked some of the crazy back into her.
The show then walked us down memory lane, flashing back to Simon criticizing both Blake and Jordin in their original auditions, and in the process showing us how much the coterie of hairdressers, makeup artists and stylists has helped both of them. (Spiky hair on Blake? Apparently I'd repressed that one.)
Blake did his beat-boxed version of "You Give Love a Bad Name," running around the stage with the mike stand and in general dancing better than any other guy in the history of the show. Then Jordin shrieked her way through a Christina Aguilera song and Blake sang a pretty Maroon 5 track.
While the competition cranked into high gear when Jordin broke into a stunningly beautiful version of Martina McBride's "Broken Wing," it appeared that things were going to go completely downhill when Ryan introduced us to the winners of the songwriting competition, and Blake launched right into their number, a Disney-esque ditty called "This is My Now."
While he sounded nice and looked as comfortable as ever, there wasn't a lot that could be done with the song.
At least that's what we thought until Jordin had her turn — and completely blew it out of the park. And just in case there were people who weren't swayed by her dulcet tones, almost inconceivably likeable personality or the fact that she's starting to look more like Rosario Dawson all the time, the girl actually started crying as she sang. How touching was it? Well, even resident cynic Kathy Griffin seemed moved.
If we're going to base the result on their final performances, I say it's now Jordin's competition to lose. Blaker's Girls, I hope the object of your affection fares better than Justin.
"American Idol" airs on FOX, which is owned by the parent company of FOXNews.com.
Anna David is a freelance writer. Her first novel, "Party Girl," is coming out in June 2007 from HarperCollins.