Your GRRRS: April 10, 2007

Here are some of your responses to Mike's last column:

David Y. writes: I understand that your recent column on offensive fast food ads was tongue-in-cheek, but allow me to share a truly offensive fast-food ad that currently pollutes the airwaves. It is a commercial for Quiznos (the sub place). The commercial taunts rival Subway over their lack of a "Prime" beef sandwich. This, in itself, is not offensive. However, the commercial ends with a shot of two young women, one of whom exclaims "It's got a lot of meat! And that's what real women need!" I had to hem and haw when my 9-year-old son asked me what she meant. I found it vulgar, and definitely not amusing. It's hard enough with commercials for feminine hygiene products and pills for erectile dysfunction flooding primetime viewing. Doesn't anyone have the slightest bit of class and dignity anymore? Thanks for letting me spout off. Keep up the GRRRRRRood work.

Charles S. writes: Mike, you forgot the Dairy Queen Brownie Earthquake, which might frighten anyone who has ever sat through a real earthquake. What horrible memories they must suffer when they pass a DQ?!? And lest we forget, what about the Sundae in general? Would that be discrimination against religions who revere other days? As I remember it, the sundae was originally invented as a treat that would be acceptable on Sunday, when Christians weren’t allowed to work.

Mike R. writes: You should sue Burger King just for their disturbing ads. Have you seen the “Sponge Bob No-Pants” spot? Creepy.

Pam G. writes: Mike, I love your column! But geeguy! With all of the belching, dripping, slurping, playing with food, etc. that's going on in fast-food commercials, couldn't you have found something better to GRRRR about than the names of the food? Those commercials are disgusting, and they're teaching our children deplorable manners! Keep up the GRRRR work!

Nancy N. writes: Mike, get over yourself and stop taking things too seriously. Follow your own advice -- if you don’t like what you’re watching, turn the channel.

Jeannie H. writes: Mike, great job on the column. I really have to wonder though about the obliviots who never signal before changing lanes. I'm sorry, but I missed the "ESP-driving" course at my high school. Why do they think the car manufacturers put the things in their cars in the first place? I've been forced to hone my Zen-driving abilities, but it definitely makes life hair-raising. The phenomenon seems to be getting worse lately, spawning (I'm sure) tons of accidents every morning.

Oh yeah, here's the other thing ... when will truck drivers in NYC and Long Island realize that parkways were not built for trucks, thus the 5,000 signs saying "Low overpass" and "No trucks allowed" and "Trucks use Expressways, not parkways"? I can't tell you how many truck-driving obliviots end up "misplaced" on roads created shortly after cars. Could you make a general announcement about that?

Regarding cheesy tots -- what's wrong with regular tater tots? That's what we grew up hoping for instead of those nasty, tasteless, mashed potatoes in the school cafeteria. And what about that cheese? Does it bear any resemblance to an actual dairy product or is it like movie theater "nacho cheese" clogging your arteries just by being on the same plane of existence?

Thanks for keeping reality interesting.

Michael S. writes: Mike, I think this is one of your weaker pieces of work. Normally you show not only wit and humor, but a depth of knowledge that this story clearly lacks.

It’s been a long time since I was involved with Volunteer Firemen, but my recollection is that there are only one, two and three-alarm fires. Representing the levels of one firehouse, all the town or city firehouses, and, finally, "calling all available units." Perhaps in post 9/11 Homeland Security we have revised these standards, but they go back to when real alarms were used across telegraph wires within an area and the tradition remained the same for years.

Thus, "4-alarm" Spicy Chicken or anything else is a supercilious statement that represents not only a lack of respect for the Bravest, but also a decided ignorance of the field. There are 3 Alarm Chili contests held between firehouses throughout the U.S. and I wonder if perhaps BK DID do some research and was making sure they avoided any trademark or logo infringement issues.

IF you want to REALLY get the biggest GRRRRRR about Fast Food and popular restaurants, explain to me why their advertising peaks at 10-12 at night, causing those of us who have not yet reached bed to suddenly have mouth-watering hunger pains, only to find out local outlets are all closed! I can identify at least 20 extra pounds that is entirely the fault of late, after-dinner advertising!

Jerome A. writes: Mike you missed an obvious Fast Food Litigation (I thought of this after the little old lady got big $$$ for spilling hot coffee on herself). You go through any drive thru, but I would suggest McDonald's as they probably have the deepest pockets, and then wreck because you were eating a sloppy Big Mac instead of paying attention. By providing drive-up service, McDonald's has encouraged you to eat while driving, therefore they are responsible for the wreck and all the pain and suffering it caused.

If anybody tries this, I get 10 percent of any awarded funds!

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