Griffs Notes 3/22/07

Forgive my absence – I come on bended knee once again to ask your understanding, as there are only so many hours in the day. I hate that I ever neglect connecting with you here, but duty and travel often make it too difficult and I promise to resolve such issues soon!

That said, some of you may have seen me on the television yesterday in the face former Veep Al Gore. So let me tell you about it…

I was dispatched for radio and TV to cover Gore’s much anticipated testimony on Global Warming. It began in the Rayburn House Office Building and the media circus delivered on the hype. There were scores of cameras and reporters… and me.

We all were hoping for that split second opportunity to get a quick question with the Oscar-winning environmental spokesman who may or may not throw his hat in the ring for one more shot at the White House.

But just as the hearings were ending in the House and the red carpet line of us media types were getting anxious, I noticed that my friends from Code Pink were gathering to voice their opinion for the glorious exit. So myself and one other producer from another network took a gamble and spun around to the back door. No one was there but one lone Capitol Policeman… at first. Then all of a sudden, several policemen came around the corner, the official rear door to the House Chamber opened and Al Gore emerged – almost bumping into me!

He seemed quite shocked to see me and the other producer with our cameras rolling, but was quite pleasant and congenial to suffer our pestering for a moment as he bolted for the elevator. My colleague pressed him on his potential presidential bid for which he shunned saying, “I have no plans to run and I do not intend to run…”

I on the other hand pressed him on his reluctance to hear the arguments of the climate crisis critics. Earlier in the morning, it had been reported that Gore either wasn’t interested in listening to the Republicans’ opening statements or simply wasn’t able to make it to the hearing in time to do so. After all, he has been afforded the unofficial title, as the foremost leading voice on Global Warming in this country – that is, if you believe it is a real and pressing issue.

But being the deft politician that he is, Global Al simply shrugged the question off by stating that he did not know what I was referring to and gave me a quote about the importance of bipartisanship if we are to resolve this crisis in the future.

So you ask me: What was he like?

He was fat. I was shocked at how large he has become – it’s almost as if he has been eating green house gases and needs to let some CO2 off. I realize it’s not nice to make fun of someone’s weight, but I can’t help but imagine that if Gore is the late sleeper of the Democrat’s field and Newt jumps in as the GOP’s frontrunner… We’re going to have the Sumo Election of 2008 and the late night comedians will forever be grateful.

And I will take it upon myself to become the official Campaign Diet Correspondent reporting on every burger, shake and fries consumed on the road to the White House.

I can be reached for questions or comments at