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I'm afraid I'm losing count. I had the potential list of fathers of the Anna Nicole baby, little Dannielynn, at two and then things exploded. The staff of this show spent more time than we should have today adding up all the potential impregnators of Anna Nicole.
The primary claimants are Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead. One is suing to prove he is the father. Then there is Prince Freddy — the husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor — who is reported to be devastated that her ninth husband is claiming to have fathered a child while married to her. Zsa Zsa is 90 and isn't having babies anymore, and she thought her husband should be over it, too. Then there is the bodyguard. He's now popped up saying he'd also had sex with Anna Nicole and he thinks he is the father.
We're not counting the minister of immigration in the Bahamas who is bragging that he had sex with her, but is not claiming fatherhood. But we probably should count J. Howard Marshall, who she was actually married to. She could well have stashed a little of the old guy's sperm and broken it out for a special occasion.
Whoever is the father has a shot at being the adult who gets to say how the baby's inheritance is spent. In the case of J. Howard, it's a moot point. He is, after all, dead. But it certainly will give his aged children the vapors to learn that they have an infant sibling to split daddy's big pile of billions with.
But for the others it's like buying a lottery ticket. You can't win if you're not in the game. Anybody who spent a few minutes alone with Anna Nicole might be expected to step up in the next few days. The baby could be worth many millions, and daddy has to be well taken care of while he manages his precious baby's accounts.
The columnist Cindy Adams had a good description of this situation today. She called it an "Anna Nicole conga line." I think she's right, and they're dancing toward the money.
That's My Word.
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