One Liverpool vet aroused his client's suspicions that he'd been indulging in animal tranquilizers when he tried to staple a dog's leg … even though the injury was on its tail.

The patient's owners had to remind him which part of the dog needed treatment, reported Sky News.

Michael Mario McCarthy, 31, then dropped the stapler and said to the owners, "Which one of you is doing the stapling then? Oh, I'll do it, I get paid lots of money for this."

The inquiry by the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons heard McCarthy had been slurring his words, and began firing staples into the dog at random.

McCarthy admitted to four charges of "disgraceful conduct," including stealing drugs from former employees.

Ben Stiller Would Be Proud

One upscale hair salon is using an unusual substance to solve the eternal split end problem: bull semen.

Clients willing to spend $55 can have the substance massaged into their hair by a trained professional, reported Britain's The Mirror.

After application, the brave few sit under a steamer and get their locks blow-dried.

The semen is organic and comes from Angus bulls. It's collected from a farm in Cheshire, and then mixed with a plant root.

Hari Salem is the owner of the brave salon, called Hari’s hairdressers in Knightsbridge, West London.

“I looked for a protein-rich offering and carried out a lot of experiments," said Salem, "but in the end the bull sperm was the winner. It really works.”

Some People Are Just ... Stupid

COLUMBUS, Ind. (AP) — A judge who sentenced a couple to probation for delivering a 20-pound package of marijuana to a friend said he did so because the pair acted out of stupidity.

Bartholomew Circuit Judge Stephen Heimann said Thursday that other defendants have used stupidity as a defense, but he has rarely bought into it.

However, Kevin Pike, 39, and his 40-year-old wife, Kimberly, made a persuasive case, he said.

"The court believes the conduct was in part due to the stupidity of these individual defendants," Heimann said before sentencing them each to a 1 1/2-year suspended prison sentence and probation.

He said the couple had no prior criminal convictions until they pleaded guilty in November to one count each of possession of marijuana.

The Pikes were arrested in January 2005 after the marijuana package was delivered to a relative's house.

Kevin Pike testified Thursday that a man he knew called two days before the delivery to tell him to expect it. Pike said he told the man not to have it delivered but that it arrived anyway.

Instead of calling police, he took the package to the man who wanted it, he said.

"I went ahead and picked the package up, which was very stupid on my part," Kevin Pike said. "It was the stupidest thing I ever did in my life."

He said he never called police because he was afraid of getting his relatives in trouble. Pike said they never found out the package was delivered to their house.

Columbus police arrested the couple after receiving a tip from Houston, Texas, authorities that it would be arriving in the mail.

Judge: Mother's Day Is for Moms Only

SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) — A judge has dismissed a lawsuit claiming the Los Angeles Angels discriminated against men by giving tote bags to women during a Mother's Day baseball game.

Orange County Superior Court Judge Jonathan Cannon ruled Thursday that the giveaway was not biased against men and that the May 8, 2005 event was a way to honor mothers.

The lawsuit, filed by Los Angeles psychologist Michael Cohn, claimed thousands of men and fans under age 18 were each entitled to $4,000 in damages because they were treated unfairly. Women over 18 received the gifts that day.

An after-hours call to Cohn's attorney, Alfred Rava, was not immediately returned.

The suit named as defendants Angels Baseball, the corporate name for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, and Corinthian Colleges, the parent company of the giveaway's sponsor, Bryman College.

An Angels spokesman said the team has changed its policy since the 2005 promotion. Last year, the team gave tote bags to the first 25,000 fans who came to the Mother's Day game, spokesman Tim Mead said, adding the Angels sent Cohn four tote bags after receiving a complaint letter from him.

A hearing was set for Feb. 15 to determine attorney's fees and costs stemming from the lawsuit.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Hannah Sentenac.

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