I love dogs. They may not exactly be man's best friend but they certainly are nice to have around when you want to throw a tennis ball or have your face licked after a long day at work. But let's get real. Dogs do not belong in bars and restaurants (unless they are guide dogs, obviously)!

Somewhere along the road people started mistaking dogs for people. But it's not true! They are animals! Watch what your beast does next time it's scratching or sniffing the lawn. It's pretty gross, isn't it?! They are not human! Yet people forget this. Why else would they buy their pets expensive sweaters and take them to the mall to have their picture taken with Santa? You can even buy birthday cardsfor your dog! If the dog is so smart, let it remember your birthday and run off to the local Hallmark store.

This brings me to a story that caught my eye: A Democratic state senator from Seattle wants to let restaurants and bars welcome pugs to the pubs. This well intentioned politician says he felt sorry after seeing dogs tethered outside on cold days while their owners were inside, cozy and warm and full of good food and drinks.So does that mean we should we feel sorry for the sheep and cows in the fields, too? Ever see them when it's really cold? It's baaaaaad!

We can learn a lesson from Moon Under Water in St. Petersburg, Florida. They just reversed their policy of K-9 compassion after only three months as the city's first restaurant to condone doggie dining. Why? Because dogs are animals and animals do things that aren't exactly pleasant to watch while you are trying to enjoy a meal. One dog had bowel troubles right there in the restaurant. Others did their thing in front of the establishment. One woman even allowed her dog to roll on the table. Yuck!

Let's stop the insanity. Take that stupid beanie off of your dog. Stop taking it for portraits with Santa. It doesn't WANT to pose with Santa for your Christmas cards. Santa probably gives Fido NIGHTMARES. And for goodness sakes, stop with all these silly ordinances that insist on treating dogs as if they were people.

Beer not beagles!! Pints not poodles!! Fries not fleas! No leash, no peace!