"Bunny" and "Schnugems" are breaking up. You don't know them, but they're getting a divorce. They're friends of mine and they're about the last couple in the world I thought would break up.
They were big on public shows of affection — I mean, really big. Touching each other. Hugging each other. Constantly holding hands.
But you know what I really remember? The way they talked:
"Are you gonna eat that, my wittle-wheat-thin?"
Yeah, the dude actually said that. And here's what she said:
"I'll be happy to share with you, my coochie-koo!"
I kid you not.
Between the "sweet cakes" and "woozie-woozie" — yeah, that one I could never figure out — they seemed destined for a lifetime of bubbly bliss and ridiculously obnoxious oodling.
But something, somewhere, somehow went wrong. I heard through a friend, they're done — finished.
Maybe they just got sick of the talk.
Maybe they just got tired of the public affection.
Maybe — maybe — they got tired of proving to the world what they couldn't reconcile themselves.
I don't know. This much I do: You cannot judge how solid a couple is based on what they say to each other or even if they touch each other — in public, I mean.
Nothing profound, save this: It takes a lot more than woozie-woozie to make a lifetime of happy-happy.
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Neil Cavuto serves as senior vice president, anchor and managing editor for both FOX News Channel (FNC) and FOX Business Network (FBN). He is anchor of FNC's Your World with Cavuto - the number one rated cable news program for the 4 p.m. timeslot - as well as the FNC Saturday show Cavuto on Business. He also hosts Cavuto on FBN weeknights at 8 p.m. In addition to anchoring daily programs and breaking news specials on FNC and FBN, Cavuto oversees business news content for both networks and FNC's weekend business shows, including Bulls & Bears, Forbes on Fox, and Cashin' In. Click here for more on Neil Cavuto.