Reality Check: 'The Apprentice' Relocates and Raises Its Stakes

You've probably heard that for its sixth season, "The Apprentice" has moved to L.A.

Not content to merely have the potential employees plot their takeovers in a warmer climate, Trump made a number of other substantial changes to the tried-and-true (but waning) formula.

This season, the losing team sleeps in tents behind the mansion where the winners stay and the winning team leader is allowed to play pretend Trump kid by sitting in the boardroom and advising Donald alongside his real-life daughter Ivanka.

The changes made the stakes that much higher, which I liked, but I may well be evil because the truth is, they ended up causing the losing team so much humiliation, those folks may as well have been on "I Love New York" (more on that in a minute).

I genuinely pitied poor Frank, the self-described loudmouth whose team lost a car-washing challenge by $118. $118!

If I'd driven by — and I may well have, seeing as Frank's team took over the car wash that happens to be down the street from where I live — and decided to get my car detailed, the tent-dwellers might have won!

But if we're going to talk about fairness, we need to include ""The Surreal Life Fame Games".

The premise is to have an all-star version of the show, but it seems more like a cast of former Surreal Lifers who couldn't say no to the money or come up with something better to do. (An all-star cast without Janice and Omarosa? For real?)

For the first "challenge," Robin Leach has all the participants — as varied as wrestler Chyna Doll, actor Verne Troyer and Poison guitarist C. C. Deville — sit and listen as a group of randomly selected "fans" decide who they want their picture taken with.

You know it's the harshest, most arbitrary thing ever when Vanilla Ice and a girl who's been on Playboy TV are getting picked while a legitimately iconic and inspirational musician like C.C. Deville is ignored. (Luckily, Deville took matters into his own hands and changed his own fate.)

And on the subject of fairness, can we please discuss "I Love New York," VH1's spin-off show of "Flavor of Love"? It's easy to see why VH1 opted to give New York her own show — the woman is as unapologetic and insane as they come — but the guys they dug up to compete for her "love" were such a creepy bunch of loons, they made the ladies on "Flavor of Love" seem like debutantes.

Part of the challenge on "New York" is winning over New York's mom, Sister Patterson, and she is so nutty and inconsistent that there isn't anything remotely fair about her selection system.

Heat, a K-Fed doppelganger, randomly got a hug from Mom during the initial introductions and the bible-quoting Bonez likewise got a whole lot of Sister Patterson's love.

Meanwhile, Chance— a thug who seemed to appeal greatly to New York for reasons entirely unclear — received Mom's harshest cold shoulder.

Sister Patterson, can't you see that the guys are all terrible? I say, try to be a little more fair and alienate every single one of them.

After all, isn't everything supposed to be fair in love and war?

Anna David has written for The L.A. Times, Vanity Fair, Premiere, Parenting, Cosmo, People, Us Weekly, Redbook, Self, Details, Stuff, TV Guide, Women's Health, Ocean Drive, Teen Vogue, Variety, The New York Post, LA Confidential and Maxim, among others. She answers sex and relationship questions on G4's Attack of the Show and speaks about pop culture on FOX, CNN, NBC, MTV, VH1 and E! Her first novel, "Party Girl," is coming out in June 2007 from HarperCollins.